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myseungsunglove · 1 year ago

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The Art of Meeting | Bc

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff to wrap it up

Word Count: 5.4k (whoopsies)

Summary: the reader and Chan are meeting up after their unlikely connection via bubble and Instagram. The reader is heading to LA to meet Chan and the boys. Will this meeting be everything she hoped for or make matters more complicated than she imagined?

A/N: Part 3. For The Master of Flirting - This one really, really got away from me. Sometimes I include so much detail because I just feel like you NEED to know, you know? Anyway, I very much enjoyed writing this part, so I really hope you guys enjoy it.

◠ ◡ ◠᭚ιαᵕ̈

Feedback Welcome

「© September 3, 2023 by mysweethannie」

Saturday, August 19th 12:15 AM CST

Chan: *received video*

Hey there, beautiful. We are on the plane and about to head out. It’s a long flight, and I’m exhausted. I can’t believe I’m going to see you in a little over 12 hours. I’m literally on cloud 9 just thinking about getting to see you.

“Is that our lovely y/n?” you hear Han’s voice in the background.

“Did someone say y/n?” Seungmin quickly interjects.

It’s not long before both boys' heads pop into the frame. Stupid, goofy grins plastered on their faces.

“Oh my god, Y/n Hi! We’re gonna see you soon. Get excited because this is going to be the most exciting weekend of your life,” Han practically yells at the screen.

Seungmin scoffs, a small smirk briefly appearing on his face. He always pretends to be annoyed with Han, but you know the opposite to be true. His eyes don’t lie. He is extremely fond and protective of Han.

“Seriously, you’re so loud,” he says, shoving Han playfully. “Can’t wait to see you, y/n,” He waves a tiny little wave that makes your heart squeeze in your chest. Han leans up and kisses the camera before Chan can swat them both away.

“Anyway,” Chan laughs, rolling his eyes playfully. “Seems I’m not the only one excited to see you,” he smiles fondly. “Maybe for different reasons, but still those two don’t shut up about you. Hell, I don’t either,” he laughs at himself. “Now I’m just rambling, but I just wanted to let you know we boarded and are heading out. I know you probably won’t be up for a few hours, or at least I hope you took my advice and got some rest. I’ll text you when we land. Our flights are scheduled to arrive pretty close together, so I’ll see you at LAX,” he smiles at the camera, his eyes becoming tiny slits.

“Byeom, darlin’”

The video ends there and you smile contentedly at your phone. You watch the video over again, laughing at the interruption of Han and Seungmin, your heartbeat quickening when Chan admits that he can’t stop talking about you and is excited to see you. You type out a quick response, hoping you’ll catch him before his phone is put on airplane mode.

Y/N: I’m so nervous and excited, I can hardly sleep. Though, I am getting a little tired now that I know you’re headed out. I can’t wait to see you. I’m not sure words can even explain how I’m feeling if I’m being honest.

Chan: I was hoping you’d be asleep, but I get it. I’m gonna have to take something to make me sleep. Ah, they’re telling us to prepare for take off. I gotta go. Please get some sleep, baby girl. It’s gonna be busy once we’re in LA, trust me. My life is kind of crazy. See you soon, y/n

Y/N: I’m not sure how one misses someone they haven’t actually met, but Channie, I miss you.

Chan: I know exactly what you mean. I miss you more, baby girl.

Y/N: Travel safe, Channie. G’night babe.

Chan: G’day, darlin’

You lock your phone, switch it over to silent and place it on the wireless charger. Sleep suddenly feels imminent now that you know the boys are about to be in the air. You smile to yourself as you roll over and cuddle up to your body pillow to fall asleep.

August 19th 4:30 AM CST

Morning comes much more quickly than you anticipate. You wake with a jolt at 4:30 AM. Whoever is taking you to the airport is due to be at your house at 5:30 sharp. You peel yourself out of bed and drag yourself into the bathroom to go through some kind of morning routine. You debate on whether you are going to travel cozy and casual or dress up and actually put on makeup. You settle for something in between the two, a simple tinted moisturizer, a light powder, and some mascara. You have pretty healthy skin and it is glowing this morning despite your complete lack of sleep. Your freckles, one of your more charming features, dance across your round cheeks. Chan has mentioned absolutely loving them, so you decide to let them shine today.

Your outfit isn’t complicated. You don’t want to look like you are going on a business trip but equally so you don’t want to look like a bum either. It is hot as hell at home, so you grab a purple sundress with white flowers on it and throw on your favorite pair of cons.

You slip on your jewelry, a simple diamond pendant necklace, a few low statement rings, and your earrings. You assess yourself in the mirror and figure you are about as ready as you’re going to be. Your hair is short, so a little spray and a few tossles here and there do the trick. You look at the clock and it’s near 5:00, so you move to refill your water bottle and double check your luggage. You are a meticulous planner, so the likelihood you are forgetting anything with all the lists you have made is slim to none, but it doesn’t stop you from triple checking everything.

Your phone rings at 5:30 on the dot, the person accompanying you on your journey arriving at your door right on time. You swing it open and are immediately greeted by a warm smile and a small Korean woman who looks to be about ten years older than you.

“Y/n?” she asks.

“Yeah that’s me,” you bow and reach out a hand to shake hers all at the same time, so nervous about the day ahead. She laughs softly and it’s a pleasant sound that calms you in an unexpected way.

“I’m Lee Jia. It’s nice to finally meet you. Chan speaks of you with the highest regard,” she smiles and bows.

You blush. “It’s lovely to meet you. Come in, I’ll grab my things,” you say as you usher her in. Lovely to meet you, you ask yourself. Who even are you right now, y/n? A nervous fucking wreck, that’s who.

You scurry off to gather your things and you return to see Jia standing in your entry, looking down at her phone.

“Ready,” you breathe.

“Shall we?” she asks as you pull open your front door. She leads the way to the car and you’re off. The ride to the airport flies by. When you arrive at the airport, a large Korean man joins your little entourage. He introduces himself as Seok-Jin. He explains that he is your bodyguard and gives you a quick rundown of what to expect. Before you know it, you’re in line to board the plane after clearing security.

“We can chat more on the plane,” Seok-Jin explains, “but essentially, I say, you do. Your safety may depend on that specific instruction especially once we are in LA.”

You hadn’t even considered this side of your meeting. And suddenly you are starkly reminded that Bang Chan is in fact a world wide superstar. Internationally known. He doesn’t get to just exist like a normal person, and you’re hit with the fact that, from this point on, you may not either depending on the outcome of this trip.

“Of course. You say, I do. Got it,” you repeat back to him. He gives you a small nod as you move through to board the plane. Chan had booked first class seats and that experience alone is shocking. You settle into your seat, both Jia and Seok-Jin close by, pull out your headphones and open up your phone. You type out a quick message to Chan even though you know he is currently somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.

Y/n: Settled and about to take off.

*picture sent* in the photo you have your eyes closed and your face scrunched up in a cute closed lipped smile. You hold up a peace sign feeling like a goober.

Y/n: Guess I’ll see you in about 4 hours. I can’t believe this is real.

You turn your phone on airplane mode, listening to the preflight instructions before take off. You look at your watch. 8:20 Everything is going off without a hitch and that makes you a little nervous but you try not to dwell on or overthink it. Things are allowed to go your way, you tell yourself.

You stick in your headphones and turn on your music, Chan’s soft voice lulling you to sleep as you close your eyes and settle in for the flight.

August 19th 11:00 AM PST

The flight is uneventful. You sleep most of the three and a half hour journey. Changing time zones always throws you for a loop, but with the difference only being two hours, you’d adjust easily enough. Easier than the boys would for sure.

“The boys’ flight just landed,” Jia tells you quietly as the two of you settle at a table outside Urth Caffe & Bar. It’s located close to the terminal the boys will be arriving at. You can tell because the amount of people with cameras around is insane. Some of the people are from News Outlets, but others are just regular people, probably STAYS excited to see the boys arrive in LA.

You order a Green Tea Americano, in desperate need of some caffeine. You run to the bathroom while Jia waits at your table for your order. Seok-Jin accompanies you to the restroom, but waits a respectable distance away from the entry. It feels so weird to have someone right there watching every move you make.

You take a few minutes to compose yourself in the mirror of the bathroom, giving yourself a little pep talk. You are about to meet someone you never expected to meet. Bang Chan still felt a little bit like a fictional character. Your brain can’t fully comprehend that you are about to actually meet him. Not only that, you are going to meet all of Stray Kids. You had formed a quick bond with Han and Seungmin, but your interactions with the other boys had been minimal thus far. That was all about to change.

“You can do this you idiot,” you tell yourself in the mirror. “He’s just a guy. At the end of the day, he wants normal as much as you do,” you remind yourself. With that, you straighten your hair and dress one last time and exit the bathroom.

Seok-Jin leads you back to the table where Jia is seated. Your drink is sitting on the table and you snatch it up, eager to have that rush of adrenaline in your veins that the caffeine will provide.

“Okay, so the boys are clearing security now,” Jia starts.

You stare at her, your mouth agape.

“Wait, already?” you ask, a slight panic in your voice.

Jia smiles softly at you and it’s reassuring as you will your heart to slow down.

“Already,” she confirms. “Your luggage is already on its way to the hotel. Now we just need to go meet up with them. Chan insisted that you would be riding with them from the airport to the hotel, despite my advice.”

“Your advice?” you ask.

“I’m not sure it’s the best idea for your first meeting to be here. I swear he forgets the level of his notoriety sometimes,” she sighs and you can tell she is a little exasperated. “They all do.”

“Ah,” you nod in understanding. “That he does. Should we just go ahead to the hotel?” you ask, suddenly doubting the plan to meet with Chan here.

Jia shakes her head.

“We’ve got everything figured out as best as we can,” she assures you. “Seok-Jin will be right there. If he says…”

“I do,” you answer with Jia.

“Exactly,” she smiles. “Let’s move. We are going to head to the meeting place. We will basically meet up with them. There won’t be time for a grand meeting. Essentially, we will simply walk up and join the group. We will head to the cars from there,” she tells you.

“Got it,” you nod nervously.

You both stand, Seok-Jin close behind as you throw your cross body bag over your shoulder. You take a deep breath. You can feel your anxiety bubbling up as you take a step forward. There are so many things you hadn’t accounted for. So many factors you hadn’t considered. You briefly feel a little foolish for rushing into all of this, but there is no turning back. Not now.

The three of you cover a lot of ground fairly quickly and suddenly you are rounding the corner. The noise of the crowd hits you before you actually see it. It feels like there are hundreds of people around you. They aren’t there for you, though, you remind yourself, though that doesn’t entirely help ease your anxiety. But you have a guard. You’ll be fine, y/n you tell yourself.

“Oh my god, is that her?” you hear someone say, and you turn to look at whoever the voice is mentioning. You don’t stop moving, but when you look, you realize that the eyes are on you. That isn’t right. No one should be looking at you.

“It is her!” someone else says, and suddenly it feels like the wolves are descending. There is a swarm of people closing in on you. They are shouting questions and pointing cameras in your face. Seok-Jin’s hand is on your back, his other on your arm as he shields you from the crowd, but he is just one person. It feels like the walls are closing in and you instantly feel like you can’t breathe.

“Y/N! Y/N! Are you working on a collaboration with Stray Kids?” someone shouts from not far enough away. “Do you have plans to showcase your singing soon?” Another shouts. Your head is spinning. How did these people know your name? Why were they talking about your singing? You can feel your chest collapsing in on itself as you become so overwhelmed you aren’t sure you can keep going.

You haven’t remotely paid attention to where Jia and Seok-Jin are leading you. At this point, meeting up with the guys is the last thing on your mind. You just want to get into a car and drive away from this chaos. Your breathing is quick and you stop, clutching your chest, trying to will yourself to keep breathing. You had not anticipated any of this.

It’s then that you suddenly feel a pair of strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into their body. The person is too short to be Seok-Jin.

“Y/N, I’m here. It’s okay.”

He strokes your hair and gently kisses the side of your forehead. “We’ve gotta move, baby girl,” he whispers in your ear and suddenly you realize it's Chan. You are wrapped up in Chan’s arms and that’s all the strength you need to move again. You don’t know where he had come from or how he knew anything was wrong, but the two of you move together and head for the door which is much closer than you realize.

What you hadn’t realized was that Jia had been communicating with Chan’s team the second things went south and people started recognizing you. She had been trying to get to the bottom of why anyone even remotely knew who you were to begin with. Chan had been filled in and demanded that he move ahead of the group to come to you.

Chan’s arms are wrapped protectively around you as your group of five; you, Chan, Jia, Seok-Jin and Chan’s bodyguard, suddenly becomes a much larger group. You haven’t looked up at Chan yet because you are surrounded by people and completely overwhelmed. You finally take a chance to pay attention to your surroundings and you realize that the rest of the group has joined you. The crowd of people now feels further away as there were many people surrounding you and the boys. You take a deep breath and scan the faces.

Your eyes meet a pair of round hazelnut eyes and he smiles, giving you a tiny wave. His eyes squint up almost closing completely, and even though you can’t see his smile because of the face mask, you know the person is smiling brightly at you.

“Seungmin,” you breathe.

You step outside the doors and the bright LA sun hits you along with a nice breeze and you take another deep breath. You feel as though it’s the first time you’ve breathed since you left the caffe.

Chan’s guard rushes ahead of you and opens the door to an SUV. Chan’s hand is resting on the small of your back.

“You first, darlin’” he says, guiding you into the car and following quickly behind you. The two of you settle in the back seat and Han and Seungmin jump in the seats ahead of you which are facing backwards so that you are all facing each other. You toss off your cross body bag, and let your head fall against the headrest behind you.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, your breath coming out in a shutter as you run your fingers through your short hair.

Chan places a firm hand on your bare thigh and squeezes lightly.

“Are you okay?” he asks. You can hear the worry in his voice. “I don’t know what happened,” he says, speaking to the situation back in the airport.

For the first time you look up and your eyes meet Chan’s. He has a soft, concerned smile on his face, his hand staying firmling on your thigh as his round eyes hold your gaze. His skin on your skin is enough to send a thrill through you despite everything that has transpired in the last twenty minutes.

“I’m okay now,” you chuckle a little. “Hi,” you add, not knowing what else to say.

He laughs then with his entire body, his head thrown back at the gesture.

“G’day darlin’” he smiles.

You grab his hand that is still resting on your leg and squeeze it. He turns it over and interlaces his large fingers with yours. His eyes never leave yours except for the brief moment they dart down to glance at your lips. You can feel the heat rising in your chest at that small action.

“I don’t know what happened,” he repeats again. “I don’t know how anyone even remotely knows who you are or that you are connected to us in any way,” he says.

“I don’t know,” you echo.

Just then Han looks up, a nervous look on his face. He’d been fiddling with a rip in his jeans the entire time you had been in the car.

“I might know what happened. Shit, I’m such an idiot,” he mutters, looking away from you both, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Han-ah?” Chan looks at him questioningly.

“I may have posted that clip of y/n singing Iris to our instagram story before we took off,” Han admits, his head falling into his hands.

Seungmin clears his throat.

“And I may have mentioned something in a story post after it about meeting you in LA and not being able to wait until I got to work with you in person,” Seungmin groaned, mimicking Han’s motion, putting his head in both of his hands. If it wasn’t so sad to see them beating themselves up, the gesture would have been cute.

“Oh,” you breathe out. Suddenly you’re laughing. It’s a little bit panicked, a little bit relieved, a lot of bit manic. “You guys are kind of idiots,” you tease as you pull your hand away from Chan’s to rub your hands over your face. “I was so not prepared for this. For any of this,” you admit looking at all three of them.

“God, I’m so sorry,” Han half sobs. You can see that he is absolutely beating himself up. Seungmin is quiet and you realize that he is crying.

“This is all my fault,” Seungmin manages, stuttering out his words before looking away.

You glance at Chan, a desperate look on your face at the despair of your new friends. Chan’s face is unreadable, but you can tell from his body language that he is frustrated. You on the other hand just want to comfort Han and Seungmin.

“Hey,” you say softly, reaching across you and putting a hand on Seungmin’s leg. “It’s okay. We made it through,” you smile reassuringly.

Han reaches out and squeezes your hand that is resting on top of Seungmin’s leg, placing his other hand on the shoulder of his friend, rubbing gently.

“You guys were excited. Hell, I was too. It could have easily been me,” you tell them.

“Except you don’t have millions of followers like us,” Han groans.

“Yeah, except that,” you admit.

“Actually,” Chan speaks for the first time in a while. “Might better check your Instagram.”

You grab your phone, open Instagram, and have thousands of requests to follow your account. Thousands. Your message requests are practically overflowing.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, your small hand clapping over your mouth as you sit up and pull away from Han and Seungmin.

“Looks like the video was screen recorded and shared a shit ton before anyone on our end realized it was on our story,” Chan says scrolling on his phone. “Look,” he says, scooting closer to you, your legs pressed firmly together.

“Holy shit,” you breathe as Chan scrolls through countless posts, all about you. STAYS had quickly shared your video, most of the feedback fairly positive to your singing. They had also put on their mega detective hats and found your private Instagram handle and shared it far and wide. “I can’t believe this,” you admit.

“We’ll figure it out,” Chan smiles at you. “Together, yeah?”

You look up, meeting his eyes and practically melt. The frustration that was there before is now replaced with determination. You’re fascinated by how quickly he can mask his feelings in order to deal with a problem. You admire it, but it also concerns you a little bit.

“I mean, you deserve all this attention. I just wish you had been able to brace yourself for it,” Chan adds. “Obviously we aren’t the only ones who think you’re incredible.”

You click off your phone, no longer able to look through all the posts. You’re incredibly overwhelmed and so unsure how to handle yourself. You’ve only just arrived in LA and it feels like your entire life has already been turned upside down. You slide the phone into your bag on the floor and bring your hands to rest on your legs as they ball up in small fists. Your knuckles crack at the movement, and suddenly Chan is reaching out and grabbing your hands once more.

“It’ll be okay. I promise,” he says, holding both your hands in his, his thumb rubbing the top of your hand in a soothing motion. He has moved so that one leg is resting up on the seat between the two of you, the other resting on the floor.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you say before you can stop yourself.

Chan drops both of your hands and moves them so that he is gently caressing your face. A small tear trails down your cheek and he gently wipes it away. He closes the space between you.

“I will always protect you,” he whispers, his breath now warm against your lips. His eyes search yours for permission and you don’t pull away. He takes that as a positive sign, and closes the distance that remains between you.

His mouth meets yours in a tender, hesitant kiss. His lips are soft and full. He tastes like sweet mint and smells like fall. The kiss is short, yet surprisingly intimate for a first kiss.

“Always,” he murmurs against you and you are chasing after his lips at those words, this time the two of you meeting in a much more desperate kiss. Your hands drape around his neck as he tilts your head slightly, his fingers dancing along the nape of your neck. Your head is spinning again, but this time in the best way possible. You knew the two of you were connected, but you couldn’t have possibly imagined any of this.

“I think we’re almost to the hotel,” Seungmin meekly whispers.

You and Chan are reminded then that you are not alone and pull away from each other hesitantly. You’ve never felt this immediately bonded with someone before and it’s a little overwhelming.

“Okay, good,” Chan chuckles, moving to sit up properly in the seat again, his hand finding yours once more. “Guys, we’ll all figure this out. Don’t beat yourselves up, yeah?” he assures the two younger boys across from him. “We’ve got a busy couple of days ahead of us. We’ll come up with a game plan,” Chan says, looking at all three of you. “I’m sure Jia is already working through it all.”

“She is,” Jia chimes in from the front seat and you all chuckle. None of you realized she had joined the four of you in the car. “Everyone can get settled in at the hotel, rest up and then we can all meet to talk about logistics.”

“All meet?” you question.

“Yes, all 9 of you. Everyone needs to be on the same page,” Jia says and turns back around in her seat.

You had completely forgotten about the other members that weren’t currently in the car with you. This would likely affect all of them in some way, and you could feel your nerves creeping back in once more.

“We’ll be fine,” Chan says beside you as if he knows the thoughts running wild in your head. He squeezes your hand reassuringly. “We always are.”

You chuckle nervously as the car comes to a stop. Someone comes out to the car with key cards for your rooms and Jia passes them out quickly. With that, the four of you retreat from the small cramped space and step back out into the sunlight. It seems that people don’t know where the boys are staying because there aren’t throngs of people waiting here for them. As if Chan can read your mind he speaks.

“Our hotel is always a safe haven. No one will bother us here,” he says with a confident smile. You walk into the hotel and it’s beautiful. Chan leads you to the elevator, pressing the top floor and entering it with you, Han, and Seungmin. Your car arrived before the others, so you have yet to lay eyes on the rest of the members of Stray Kids at this point.

The bell of the elevator dings and you all step out of the small space. Your room is the last one on the hall, past all of the boys’ rooms. As Han and Seungmin depart, murmuring their apologies once again, and you realize that you are situated across the hall from Han and Seungmin, their rooms adjoined by a door inside.

Chan opens the door of his room and pulls you in behind him. You notice a door inside other than the bathroom door and closet door and realize then that your rooms must be joined as well. In fact, the door is open.

“That room is yours,” he says with a smile, gesturing to the open door. “I didn’t want to have to be caught in the hallway every time I wanted to come see you, so I figured requesting a set up like this would be easier,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Smart,” you chuckle.

You walk into your room and see that your luggage is all safely there, just as Jia assured you it would be. You throw your cross body bag on an empty chair and retreat into the bathroom. You take one look at yourself in the mirror and realize what a mess you look like. You glance down at your watch and it reads 1:00 pm. You hadn’t realized so much time had passed from getting off the plane, the whole airport disaster, and the car ride to the hotel. Traffic must have really been crazy, but you were so caught up in your own world with the boys, you had had no time to notice anything like that.

You wet a hand towel down with cold water and dab your face gently. You decide that you can refresh your makeup later, after you’ve rested. You use the bathroom and exit the room. You immediately notice Chan laying on the edge of your king size bed, an arm draped over his eyes.

“Are you as tired as I am?” you ask as you sit down gently beside him.

He chuckles and it's a low pleasant sound that sends a thrill through you. Sitting here with him feels so natural. Like it’s something you’ve done hundreds of times. It feels safe.

“That’s the understatement of the century,” he says as he moves his arm away from his face and softly smiles up at you.

You suddenly stand, holding out your hand to him.

“Then I propose a nap,” you say, offering your hand to him. He takes it without hesitation and stands, his free hand landing on your hip and pulling you close to him.

“That’s a proposal I don’t think I could possibly refuse,” he smiles down at you and damn it if you don’t go completely weak in the knees as his eyes lock with yours. You can see that he wants to kiss you again, but he hesitates this time. Something about being in a hotel room makes a kiss feel much more intimate and you both know you aren’t ready for where that could lead. Not after a day like today.

“I’m gonna change real quick. I don’t want to sleep in my travel clothes,” he laughs and steps away and back into his room.

“You’re too right,” you agree, moving to your luggage.

You open it up and the urge to unpack everything like you usually do is strong, but you’re also completely exhausted. That type A OCD trait will have to wait, you tell yourself as you search for an oversized T and a pair of shorts. You find your shirt that reads, “President of the Big Tiddy Committee” on it and burst out laughing. You had entirely forgotten that you had packed this. You throw it on and slide on a pair of black shorts.

You turn around, moving towards your bed and Chan is suddenly in the doorway between your rooms again. He is wearing a black tank top that sticks to him like his skin and a pair of loose black basketball shorts.

Suddenly he laughs out loud, his head falling backward as he laughs with his entire body.

“Oh my god,” he giggles, his hand going over his mouth. “Your shirt.”

You look down at it with a proud smile, pulling it away from you and reading it as if you’re reading it for the first time. You shrug, a smirk spreading across your face as you look back at him.

“Iconic, right?” you smile at him with a cocked eyebrow.

“That’s one word for it,” he laughs, shaking his head at you.

You wink at him and he blushes, a red tint spreading across his chest and face.

You pull back the comforter on the bed and crawl in, turning on the lamp beside the bed and grabbing the remote that closes the curtains, pressing the button. The room goes practically dark as night despite the fact that it’s 1:30 in the afternoon.

“You coming or what?” you ask, like you’ve done this with him a hundred times.

“Yeah, okay,” Chan responds nervously, but doesn’t hesitate to crawl into the bed from the other side. He quickly scoots close to you and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest without hesitation. You melt into him and suddenly feel ten times more tired than you had just moments ago. You feel him sigh contentedly and you can’t help but look up at him.

He is smiling down at you, his arm rubbing up and down your back gently.

“This is gonna be the best nap I’ve ever had in my life, I can feel it,” he whispers, pressing his lips against your temple.

“Hmm,” you hum in agreement and drift off to sleep, the chaos of the day on the back burner of your mind.

“Sweet dreams, darlin’” Chan whispers against your head before falling asleep too. You aren’t sure what you will have to face when you wake up, but in Chan’s arms, you feel like you can tackle just about any issue that comes your way.

< Pt. 2: The Mystery of You |Pt. 4: The Complication of Life Connecting >

MoF Tags: @hoeinthehouse @drhsthl @chrizzlaptop @dna-black-and-blue @lynlyndoll @hufflepuffanddurinsdaughter @amararosesblog @flirtyskzbutterfly @spearb-99 @jascurka21 @colorguardlover14 @bangchansbiggestfeet08 @vxllxnsworld

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #Bang Chan Series #the master of flirting series #Bang Chan Fluff #Bang Chan Fanfiction

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frogwithgun · 6 months ago

Text

Writing time!!!!!!

Got this idea while listening to Sleepless 10/10 song would recommend.

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4:05 AM. Big bold letters on his clock tease him with the fact that he still can't sleep. And how could he? How could Geto possibly sleep soundly when his best friend is just down the hall unaware of how he feels? He couldn't.

It drove him up the wall. So instead of trying to sleep any longer he just got up and went to the showers. Hoping that maybe the warm water would help him rid his mind of those clear blue eyes that reminded him of summer skies.

It didn't. Fuck.

-------------------

He goes back to his room and flops down onto his bed. His hair splaying all around him. He sighs. Then he sits up and looks at the clock again. 5:01 AM. He reaches for the nightstand and grabs a hair tie. Carefully putting his hair up into a ponytail.

There's nothing to do so early in the mornings. So he gets up and decides to get dressed for the day. He had a long day of missions and classes ahead of him after all.

And hopefully he would get to see him.

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"Suguru! You're awake!"

He jumps and turns to look over his shoulder. Ah there he is. Hair tussled from tossing and turning all through the night. Somehow looking perfectly imperfect. And his eyes are not yet covered by those sunglasses. Geto has to stop himself from swooning.

"Yeah. I've been up for a while. Couldn't sleep." Gojo nods. A wide grin on his lips. Geto can see the slight gloss from those candy flavor lip blams he loves to wear. He wonders, how do they taste?

He forces those thoughts away. "Why don't you come to my room next time then?" And Geto struggles to find out if he's being serious or teasing.

----------------

9:00 AM.

"And he's messing with me! I know he is! 'You can come to my room next time.' But I'm onto him!" Geto is in the infirmary with Shoko. Forcing her to listen to him ramble about his boy troubles. She hands him a cigarette. "Need this?"

Get immediately takes it. "There's no way he was being serious. He was probably just teasing me again." He's sitting on one of the beds and pouting. While Shoko tries to work. "Well maybe he is being serious." Geto scoffs and takes a drag from the cigarette. "Yeah right. You know he loves to mess with me."

Shoko rolls her eyes. "Look you're his one and only or something. He calls you two the strongest. And you're the only one he let's call him by his first name. If that's not enough of a sign I don't know what is!" She throws her hands up exasperated.

Geto rolls his eyes again. "I'm just waiting for him to say something more. Maybe tell me that he likes guys with black hair. Or purple eyes." He shrugs. Shokos buries her head in her hands. "I swear you two make me wanna kill myself." Geto laughs while Shoko glares at him.

"If you don't tell him I will." Geto shrugs. "Really? Let me show you something my dear friend." Shoko nods and they both leave to find Gojo.

-----------------

10:30 AM. Geto finds Gojo. Shoko trailing behind him. "Satoru!" Gojo turns and lights up. "Suguru!" He runs to Geto and jumps into his arms. Something Geto had to get used to. So he catches Gojo with ease. "My mission was soooooo long!" He complains. And Shoko feels like ripping out her hair.

How is he so oblivious? "Satoru I love you. I love you so much it hurts." And Gojo, with the biggest smile, says, "Aw Suguru! I love you too! You're my best friend." Geto looks at Shoko, still holding Gojo, and glares at her. "Damn. So maybe you need to try harder?" Getos eye twitches.

Then he nods. "Ok fine." He full on kisses Gojo. Tasting that coca cola flavored lip balm. And Gojo just smiles. "I missed you too! We should go get some mochi!" Shoko blinks.

He's hopeless.

--------------------

For some reason I love the idea of an oblivious ass Gojo and a very obvious Geto. It's so cute to me

#jjk #satosugu #geto suguru #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #shoko ieiri #oblivous #vs #Obvious #They are teens again #Gojos six eyes lowkey don't work #Gojo can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic love #Geto is slowly going insane

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oonajaeadira · 2 years ago

Note

Stupid question but how do people who sleep with earplugs wake up the next day when they have to go to work or an appointment because how do you hear the alarm?

It'll be so stressful for me, fear of not hearing it.

Foam earplugs don't deafen you, they merely dampen the sound. My alarm is right beside me on my bedside table and I hear it every time.

Me rambling under the cut with TMI

I sleep with earplugs because I have a dog that sleeps in our bedroom and makes noise. She gets up and walks around and her nails click on the wood floors. She loudly laps at her water bowl and coughs and hacks like an old lady. She gets up every hour to make a fuss over her blanket and paw it up so it's just right for her to lay on. And she licks her paws...istg nothing will wake me out of a sleep faster and with more ire than mouth noises and that dog has the nastiest ones ever...

And before you come at me with dog crating and having the dog sleep somewhere else, believe me, I know. Let me tell you about my SO. The man is one of the most intelligent people I know. He is literally a walking encyclopedia and lives his life by the laws of logic. And he is on the spectrum, so he's not really great at reading human emotions (I was in love with Data from ST: TNG when I was younger and often joke that I've found my very own android).

But he has these pockets of irrationality that just astound me and one of them is dogs and dog behavior. He wouldn't put a human in a crate, so he wouldn't put a dog in one either; in his mind, it's cruel. He doesn't understand that dogs seek structure and habit and familiar ritual. He talks to ours as if she's a human--when she goes to the stairs and looks longingly at them he asks her, "What do you need? Do you need to go out?" As if she's going to answer him. YES. OBVIOUSLY THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS. WHY ARE YOU MAKING HER WAIT. YOU ARE THE ALPHA, YOU TELL HER WHAT TO DO. When she just stands and stares, he gives this disappointed sigh and picks her up (she's 19 and can't do stairs any more) and takes her outside, like he can't understand why she just doesn't use her words.

Anyway. I could go on about how things are going to change with the next dog and I'm going to make him go through as much training as that one. The man loves learning. He can learn about dog psychology and the need for structure and guidance and safe feelings. Then maybe we can have a dog that behaves and isn't food aggressive and shits in one corner of the lawn instead of turning my yard into a minefield and doesn't keep us up at night.

For this reason--and this next one--he also wears earplugs. Because we have different sleep schedules. He goes to bed around 10:30 and gets up at about 6:30. I go to bed at 2am (sometimes 3 or 4) and get up at 9. Our house is tiny and our bedroom is actually a back addition on our house--it was built to be a living room and has a door out to the back yard. This is where he leaves in the morning. Since he works construction, he hauls tools and equipment out of the basement, through our bedroom, and out to his truck parked in the back. The kitchen is also right off the bedroom and he insists on having a glass cutting board and doing the dishes in the morning as he makes breakfast, so all the noise. He's usually pretty quiet and he kisses my forehead every day before he leaves....but most of the time I don't even hear him or register it. The alarm though, that cuts through, and probably because my brain is trained to know that's a wake-up sound and the others aren't.

As for him, I stay up late, but I'm generally silent. 10:30 - 2am is my main reading/writing time so I like it quiet. But it's also when the dog is most active, because she's wondering where I am, so she gets up and paces now and then. And I mumble in my sleep. Hence earplugs for him too.

And, android-like, he doesn't even set an alarm. That man has light sensitivity and even with heavy curtains, he wakes up with the sun.

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emmyhem · 4 years ago

Text

stormy fears & feelings (l.r.h)

a/n: hey everyone! here’s “stormy fears & feelings”, this is a nonfamous au with roommate!luke. (unedited as usual) this was really fun to write, i intended for it to be short and sweet but i ended up writing for longer than i had originally planned. anyway, i hope you enjoy and are having a great day/night/whatever. i appreciate any and all feedback, and as always my messages are always if you want to chat or anything :) thank youuuu - emmy <33

pairing: roommate!luke hemmings x fem!reader

summary: a thunderstorm leaves you awake and scared, and going to your standoffish roommate, who you happen to have an extremely inconvenient crush on for comfort may be your only option to get a good night of sleep.

warning(s): cursing, extremely minor injury, minor angst if you squint

word count: 5k

It really was an awful idea. In any other case it wouldn’t have even crossed your mind, but you had been on edge all week for no specific reason and thunderstorms had always spooked you.

The storm had started unexpectedly. If you had known earlier you would have ran to the store to buy Nyquil before going to bed, but with it sneaking up on you, you were huddled under your blankets, eyes squeezed impossibly tight in hopes to drown out the loud crashes and blinding flares of light flooding your bedroom window.

When the thought originally passed through your head it was more of an internal sarcastic remark than a possible solution.

I mean, you had been living with your roommate, Luke for over 4 months now, but you weren’t really friends. You would occasionally chat with him if you were both up and about around the apartment, which was pretty rare seeing as Luke seemed to avoid you for the most part. Hurrying out of a room when you entered, ending conversations quickly, and always being conveniently busy when you had attempted to make plans to get to know each other better. Your living arrangement had only come to be because you had heard through a friend he was looking for a roommate at the same time that you had happened to be on the lookout for a new place. Your relationship consisted mainly of half-hearted greetings and subtle avoidances of each other. So, going to him for comfort wasn’t a viable option to soothe your nerves.

Even if you did, what would you expect him to do?

Sit up with you? No, not when you knew he had to wake up early for work.

Talk you down? He wouldn’t even know what to say in the first place, your typical conversations were made up of checking if there was still coffee, or deciding whose turn it was to do the dishes.

Offer up a space in his bed? Absolutely not. That was the most unthinkable of them all. If it wasn’t for the fact that Luke had always seemed pretty adamant with his personal space, sometimes tensing up if you even sat too close to him on the couch. Your annoying and inconvenient crush that had started the day you moved in, just wouldn’t allow the two of you to be in such close quarters without your heart racing and your head dizzying.

It was out of the question, end of discussion.

With that being said it only took one more boom of thunder to have you shoot up from your bed and pad quietly into the hallway, with fuzzy sock clad feet and a large quilt wrapped tightly around your shoulders.

You stared at his bedroom door hesitantly until the next strike, during which you knocked ever so lightly and muttered a soft,

“Luke,”

After a minute and no reply you resorted to giving up on your plan and heading to the kitchen to drink a cup of tea, in hopes it may help. The idea was good enough, but you had failed to consider the noise that comes along with it. And as if the whistling of the kettle and clattering of the mugs wasn’t enough, the next roar of thunder sent you into a shock causing you to stub your toe on the corner of the cabinet and let out a pained yelp. You quickly slapped a hand over your mouth and sunk to the floor to assess the damage as you heard rustling and a door opening from the hall.

Luke was in the kitchen in a matter of seconds, his long legs carrying him there within just a few steps. He hit a light switch, causing the kitchen to glow a dim yellow.

“Y/n, you alright?” he grumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he approached your crouched position on the floor.

“Yea, yea I’m okay. Sorry, I woke you up.” you responded, mentally kicking yourself for causing such a disruption.

“S’alright. What’s goin’ on? Why are you up?” he spoke, offering you a hand to pull yourself up.

You accepted it, trying your hardest to ignore how warm it felt, and how easily it enveloped your own as you returned to your feet.

“Uh, I just had a hankering for chamomile.” you lied. You really should’ve thought this through. Now that he was standing in front of you, admitting your fear of thunderstorms seemed daunting. You were an adult for chrissakes, an adult that was left shaking at the mere thought of a considerably common weather phenomenon.

His eyebrows tugged in confusion as he glanced between you and the kettle.

“Did you knock at my door a couple minutes ago?” he questioned as you watched the window over the sink nervously.

Your eyebrows raised a bit at the inquiry.

“Thought I heard something, but then I figured I must’ve just imagined it. Y’know, woken myself up.” he continued.

“Um, yep that was me.” you admitted, turning your back to him in hopes to hide your embarrassment.

“So, was there a reason, or?”

“Right, yea a reason.” you paused, searching for an excuse in your drowsy and distracted brain. “I wondered if you wanted a cup.”

“In the middle of the night?” your subconscious deadpanned as your face scrunched in displeasure.

You turned back around to face him, holding a mug out for him.

Confusion and a glint of amusement was painted across his features as he spoke,

“You wanted to know if I wanted a cup of tea,” he peeked at the clock behind you. “at 2:30 in the morning?”

As you opened your mouth to defend your admittedly bad excuse another crash of thunder rumbled from the sky, causing your body to jump in fear and your hand to release its grip on the ceramic mug. Luke took a step back just in time as it shattered to pieces on the floor.

You brought two shaky hands to your face and pressed yourself against the cabinet, cowering as far back as possible.

“Hey, s’okay. It’s just thunder.” Luke said, placing a hand on your shoulder.

You peeked out through your hands before dropping them from your face all together.

Realization sparked on his face as your eyes met his.

“Are you afraid of thunderstorms?” Despite his tone being soft, sweet even, you were sure he was making fun of you.

“I-uh, no. No I’m not.” you rushed out, attempting to push past him and scurry into your bedroom.

“Y/n, the glass.” he warned, his grip on your shoulder tightened, not allowing you to move.

“Was that why you knocked earlier?”

You nodded, hesitantly your eyes dropping to the floor.

“I don’t know why, I just- thunderstorms have freaked me out since I was little and I normally would take something to help me fall asleep, but I didn’t have anything and...I shouldn’t even have tried to wake you up in the first place, there’s nothing you could do and we aren’t even friends or anything. Probably don’t even like me, I mean you can hardly even stand to be in the same room as me. Anyways I’ll be fine, lemme clean this up and then i’ll just head to my ro-” you rambled, not even pausing to take a breath.

“You think I don’t like you?” he interrupted.

Fuck. Was the scare so intense oxygen had been cut off from your brain? Why would you say all that? He didn’t need to know that you took notice of the fact that he avoided your company like the plague.

Instead of responding you opted for grabbing the dustpan, the sooner the floor was clean the sooner you could get back to your room. Where you would sit awake in fear, by yourself for the rest of the night, no doubt replaying this embarrassing interaction over and over again.

Luke stood seemingly frozen as you kneeled down beside him attempting to gather the broken shards, which was proving to be difficult with such shaky hands.

With another bolt of lightening your hand shuddered and slipped from the brush, hitting a shard and slicing a thin cut on the pad of your pointer finger.

“Shit” you hissed, dropping the dustpan to examine the tiny gash.

Luke’s head snapped in your direction, eyes immediately filling with concern.

“Ow” you whined quietly.

He dropped down next to you and took the finger into his hands.

“You should clean this out, I’ll finish this up.” he nodded to the remaining glass.

“I can get it.” you protested. “You should get to bed, you have to work tomorrow.” you continued, making your way to the sink.

“So do you.” he responded flatly, already finishing up cleaning as you looked around for a band aid. When you finally located the box of bandages Luke was behind you.

“Lemme see.” he said, taking one from the box while he examined your finger.

You watched his face intently as he carefully wrapped your cut with squinted eyes and a small pout.

You had never seen Luke during the night. There was a certain softness to him that was completely foreign to you, one that made the thought of cuddling into him seem far too appealing for your liking.

“I do like you, y/n.” he broke you out of your thoughts, uttering it so quietly you thought you may have imagined it.

You nodded in acknowledgement, not knowing how to respond without further embarrassing yourself.

“I’m sorry I made you think I didn’t”

At this point he had finished bandaging you up which made the fact that he was still standing a mere inches apart from you with his hand wrapped around yours, all the more affecting.

“M’sorry I even brought it up, I’m just tired cause of the storm, and apparently I lose a filter with no sleep.”

His hand lightly squeezed yours as you spoke, and the butterflies that erupted in your stomach as he did so told you it was time to go back to your room. You gingerly tugged your hand away, ignoring the way Luke’s expression faltered when you did.

“I’m sorry again, about all of this. You should get some sleep.”

“Will you be able to?”

“I’ll be fine, one night of lost sleep is hardly the end of the world.” you responded, taking a step towards the hallway. Luke caught your arm before you got far.

“Yea, but you lose your filter when you're tired, you said it yourself.” A small grin grew on his face as he continued. “Can’t have you spilling all your secrets tomorrow.”

Was he joking around with you?

Before you could stop it, a pleased smile appeared on your face. This was new. You didn’t even know he had a sense of humor, he had never attempted to share it with you before.

“I’m sure I can control myself.” you returned, attempting to go once more. Of course, his voice stopped your movements within a second.

“Y/n, let me help. How can I help?”

The plausible reasoning for his sudden generosity was that he was feeling guilty or maybe even embarrassed that you were under the impression he didn’t like you. But that didn’t stop your entire body to warm at the offer.

“There’s really not much to do.” you started. “I think the only reason I knocked in the first place is because I’m used to having some company when I get scared. Big family, y’know there was never a shortage of beds I could crawl into.”

“Company!” he repeated, eyes lit up. “I can do that. I have it on very good authority that I’m an excellent cuddler.”

Your body froze at his words. He couldn’t be serious, right? There’s no way he had any interest in that, even if it was just for your sake.

He must’ve noticed your tenseness at the proposition because before you got a chance to respond, a bright red blush overtook his cheeks and he squeaked out,

“Or the floor, I could always take the floor. I mean company can be just my presence in the room, I guess. If you want.”

“No. I mean-um, I could go for a cuddle.” you heart answered before your brain got the chance to interfere.

He smiled at you warmly.

“Alright then.”

You had never been into Luke’s room before, I mean not really. Sometimes you would sit his laptop in there if he had left it out or lay a sweatshirt of his on the foot of the bed but you had never actually been inside. It was slightly messy, there was a pile of clean, unfolded laundry on a desk chair, and a few empty water bottles scattered around but for the most part it was clean. On his bed the blankets were strewn about from where he must’ve been sleeping earlier, a pile of pillows stacked high on the right side, and it could’ve just been how tired you were but you had never wanted to crawl into a bed more.

“I like your room.” you whispered, as he spread the pillows out more evenly across the top of the mattress.

“Why’re we whispering?”

“It’s nighttime.”

“Y/n, we’re the only people who live here and we’re both awake.” he teased, laughing while shaking his head.

“Oh, right.”

He gestured a hand to the bed, “Ladies first.”

Hesitantly you sat, your back pressed against the mound of pillows Luke had compiled for you, shortly after he took a seat next to you, leaving a few inches of space between your legs. You looked down to your lap, aware of how awkward of a position the two of you were in, neither knowing how to go about this. Luke spoke first,

“Are you warm enough?”

“Yea, thanks.”

“Mhm,” he hummed in response. “Do you wanna watch something?”

“M’pretty tired.” you replied. “We should probably just go to sleep.”

“Yeah, right.” he nodded, watching you.

It seemed he was waiting for you to get comfortable, like he didn’t want to push any boundaries that you weren’t ready to cross.

Unsurely you scooted your body down in the bed till you were fully horizontal, took one more glance at Luke and then turned your back to him, pulling the duvet up over your shoulders. With his blanket pulled up just under your nose you subtly breathed in the pine and vanilla aroma that you recognized as his body wash. You’d never admit to it but occasionally you’d spend a little extra time in the shower inhaling the fresh scent.

A dip in the mattress told you that Luke had laid down and within a few minutes you were sure he was sleeping again. You were feeling a bit more calm, trying your hardest to ignore every loud crash of thunder and instead focus on counting the seconds between each soft breath Luke exhaled.

Just as a drowsy haze began to come over you, straining your eyelids and fogging up your brain a particularly alarming rumble broke the silence causing your body to jerk and your breath to catch. Luke grumbled quietly beside you and you could feel him rolling around. As you opened your mouth to apologize for waking him a warm hand slipped just under the hem of your shirt, rubbing soothing circles onto the bare skin of your hip. Your body tightened at the unexpected contact and you strained your neck to look at him over your shoulder.

“Luke,”

“Go to sleep, m’right here.” he mumbled without even opening his eyes.

You faced back around but placed a hand over his and removed it from your body. This must’ve worried Luke because he pushed himself up on his elbow, eyes blinking open as you turned to face him.

“Was that not good? I’m sorry, I’ll keep my hands to myself.” he rambled through a defense.

“No,” you shushed, pressing a hand to his chest to lightly push him back down. “s’good.” you assured while pulling his arm over your body as you tucked yourself into his chest. Your bodies were completely flush in this new position. “This is better.” you murmured, your nose bumping his chest as you made yourself comfortable.

He hummed softly in agreement, his hand finding its way to your hair, cupping the back of your head.

Sleep was sweeping over you fast like this, the sound of Luke’s heartbeat drowning out any daunting noise coming from outside. Not to mention that anytime your body so much as twitched Luke’s arms would tighten around you ever so slightly as if to assure he was still there with you.

When the sun had risen you woke up to the sound of soft snores, and the feeling of tiny puffs of air on your forehead. As you tried to roll over and stretch your limbs you found your legs were tangled with someone else’s and your cheek was practically glued to the faded grey cotton that adorned your roommate’s chest.

“Luke.” you called, using your hand to shake him awake.

“Shh” he whined, repositioning you both so your back was snug against his chest.

“We have work.” you mumbled, trying to squirm out of his hold. It proved ineffective as he just tightened his arms around your stomach.

He grumbled something incoherently that sounded an awful lot like “No, stay with me please. So warm.” but that couldn’t have been it. Right?

Afraid he would dig himself further into this hole of sleepy deliriousness, you began to rouse him, prying yourself out of his arms and promising him a hot cup of coffee if he met you in the kitchen within ten minutes.

You quickly washed your face, brushed your hair and teeth and made your way to the kitchen to fix two cups of coffee. Luke stumbled out of his bedroom just a few minutes later, his eyes squinted under the natural light flooding the windows and he seemed to almost glide across the tile until you and his coffee were in arm’s reach.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” you greeted in a teasing tone, pushing the mug across the counter to him.

He hummed and took two large sips before turning his attention fully to you.

“G’morning, did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah, I actually did.” you affirmed. “Thank you for everything last night, Luke.” you rested your hand over his on the countertop, squeezing it once lightly to express your gratitude.

When you pulled it away Luke’s eyes lingered over where your hand had previously been before he dragged his gaze up to meet your eyes.

He released a deep sigh before speaking, “Happy to help, I’m honestly glad the storm happened.”

“Happy to see me scared shitless, are we Hemmings?”

He laughed through a denial, leaning forward to press his forehead on your shoulder where your loose fitting shirt had slipped.

Your posture straightened as your stomach tied itself in knots, each one tightening with every exhale that brushed your bare skin.

“No, I’m just glad that we can finally y’know, be-”

“Friends.” you cut off. Because that’s what you would be, you had to remind yourself. You wouldn’t have Luke’s bed to crawl into every night. You wouldn’t have his firm chest under your palms each morning, or his hands tangled in your hair. Especially not in the way you really wanted them.

Luke pulled off of you like he had been electrically shocked.

“Friends” he repeated, and if you weren’t so busy pitying yourself you may have heard the subtle lilt in his voice that caused the word to come out as more of a question than a statement.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, and as the minutes passed this interaction was starting to feel more like the ones you typically had with Luke.

“We should get ready for work, you have to go soon.” he spoke up, already walking away.

“We should do something tonight.” you suggested. This is what you were afraid of, you had grown attached already. “Maybe watch something or, I don’t know.” Anything to be near you again.

“I won’t be home.” he clipped, closing his bedroom door behind him.

It really was an awful idea.

You hurried through your morning routine, carefully selecting any time you had to leave your bedroom to avoid bumping into Luke. What had gone wrong? Had the word friends spooked him? If that was the case, what would he have done if he found out what you really wanted to say?

Either way you left feeling confused and rejected, so quickly you didn’t even realise you had forgotten your car keys until you were on the sidewalk outside your complex.

“Shit.” you cursed, turning on your heel and storming back in the building.

Once you had expertly made your way back inside the apartment and retrieved your keys, being as quiet as humanly possible to not alert Luke to the fact that you had re-entered, you were halfway out the door when the utterance of your name froze your movements.

“She just left for work.”

Luke must’ve been on the phone, but why was he talking about you? Curiosity got the best of you and you quietly shut the door with you on the inside, work could wait.

“Because, Cal that’s not what she wants.” he sighed.

He was talking to Calum? The only friend you shared, and the connection through which you got a room here in the first place.

“She wants to be my friend and I can’t do that. Not with her.”

“Why not?” you whispered to yourself, taking a step further inside to hear him better.

“No, it’s not better than nothing at all. I can’t be her friend ‘cause anytime she’s near me all I can think about is kissing her.”

Your stomach dropped at his words and a small gasp escaped your mouth. All the dots began adding up in your head. The avoiding? Well he had just explained that, and honestly it was the best excuse you’d ever heard. His behavior last night? You had caught him with his guard down, he was forced to let you in. His sudden annoyance at the word friends this morning? You had shot him down and you hadn’t even realized it. You liked Luke, and he actually liked you back.

“Actually, avoiding does work.” he continued, breaking you from your thoughts.

You could hear the mumble of Calum’s response but unfortunately couldn’t make out any of the words.

“Last night was an exception, she was all cute and scared. There’s no way I could’ve turned her away. I’ll go right back to avoiding, and things’ll go back to normal. Suffer in silence, I’m telling you it works.”

That’s not what you wanted, not at all. The creak of floorboards alerted you to Luke’s approaching and you hastily snuck out the front door, your mind running through possible solutions the whole way to your car.

Luke hadn’t lied when he said he wouldn’t be home, which meant he was taking this whole avoiding thing seriously. It was 1:30 am and you were still up waiting for him, your seat at the dining room table was losing its appeal as your back cramped in pain. The original plan you had concocted in the hours you spent daydreaming about him at work was to wait up for him, lure him into a movie night and make a move while the two of you were cuddled up on the couch. You hadn’t planned for him to be out this late though, and in all honesty you were starting to worry. You hoped he was just crashing at a friend’s, you hoped he wasn’t alone, you really hoped he wasn’t with another girl.

Discouraged, you moved your pity party into your bedroom, flopping onto your bed and groaning loudly into a pillow. You rolled onto your back, wasting time by counting the blades of the ceiling fan in each slow rotation.

You were at 231 in your counting when you heard the front door open followed by the clambering of footsteps. You perked up and angled your ear towards the hall.

“Please be alone. Please be alone. Please be alone.” you repeated quietly to yourself as the steps got closer. From the light protruding the crack under your bedroom door, you saw the shadow of a figure approach. You held your breath in anticipation of the knock you figured was coming. A few minutes passed, nothing came, and soon enough the shadow disappeared and Luke retreated to his bedroom.

You stared out your window and for the first time in your life found yourself hoping for a storm. The sky was clear, hardly a cloud in sight, and the moonlight was warm and prominent. It would look so pretty on Luke’s face right now, all soft eyes and drowsy expressions.

It seemed a shame to sleep by yourself, he was just across the hall, the promise of his warm embrace taunting you.

You huffed in exasperation and jumped to your feet, “Here goes nothing.”

You didn’t bother being quiet as you advanced to his door, leaving three heavy knocks on the worn oak.

You could hear him shuffling inside and then the intimidating creak of the hinges, revealing him to you.

“Are you okay?” he questioned sluggishly, his body slumping against the door frame.

“Can I sleep in here?” you asked instead of answering. No time to waste here.

“Um, it’s not storming?”

“I know. Can I?”

“Is there a reason?” he breathed, his heavy eyes drifting down your face to land unabashedly on your lips, which you were chewing in anxiousness.

“I have a crush on you.” you blurted, causing him to shoot up from his languid lean.

“What?”

“I have this big stupid crush on you. I have ever since I moved in but I thought you hated me because you always avoided me, but now I know that you like me too and I don’t see the point in us sleeping in separate beds anymore.” you continued, your eyes glued to a dip in the hardwood floor.

“How did you ev-”

“I heard you on the phone with Calum earlier.” you interrupted to explain, still refusing to meet his eyes. “I swear I wasn’t spying or anything, I forgot my keys.”

Without saying a word Luke stepped to the side allowing you entrance. You shuffled past him but didn’t make it far before his hand caught your forearm and smoothly tugged you a mere inches from him.

He spoke through heavy breaths, eyes flitting to your own as you faced him for the first time since your declaration.

“You like me?”

You could only nod, your brain completely fogged by the close proximity.

His eyes fell from your eyes to your now bitten lips, “Can I?” he sighed as his hand found your chin, thumb brushing the skin timidly.

“Y-yea” you agreed, leaning into his touch.

He closed the gap between you with a gentle press of his lips, his hand slowly dragging up your arm leaving goosebumps in its wake until it was tangled in your hair. As you relaxed into his hold his movements became more fervent, his tongue begging for entrance which you allowed when your mouth fell open with a flustered sigh.

Luke stumbled backward dragging you along with him until the back of his calves met the foot of the bed and he dropped to sit on the edge, you standing between his legs. You pulled apart to breath and he spoke raggedly,

“My heart…” he trailed off catching his breath.

“What?” you muttered.

“Feel it.” he continued, taking your hand and pressing it to his heart which you could feel thumping rapidly through the warmth of his skin.

You laid your forehead against the top of his head, moving both of your hands to your own chest.

“Me too.”

He tugged on your sweatshirt until you were seated securely on his knee, his hands grasping at your waist.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” he drawled before he began alternating pecks, and light nibbles down your neck until he reached the spot he could feel your pulse thrumming from. He lets his lips rest there for a while and reveled in the fact that you were just as affected as him. He pulled away when you spoke up.

“Where were you tonight?”

“Moped around Calum’s place until he kicked me out, told me I needed to deal with my shit.” he answered, the hand he was resting on your upper thigh caressing the skin through your pajama pants.

“I heard you outside my door earlier.” you admitted leaning into his side.

“I came home with every intention of telling you but I chickened out.”

“What would you have told me?” you wondered aloud.

“That I like you, and that last night was amazing. That I don’t want to sleep without you again if I don’t have to.”

Luke took notice of the fact that your eyelids were drooping as he talked and began to scoot you both back in the bed as he continued.

He watched in awe as you curled into his side.

“Up for a breakfast date tomorrow, love?” he asked, pulling the blanket over you both.

“Yes, please.” you agreed, laying your palm flat against the warmth radiating from his stomach.

“So what should we do with your room?” Luke said drowsily, sleep beginning to creep up on him as well.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you won’t be needing it anymore since you’re moving in here.” he comments casually, pushing your hair out of your face with soft movements.

You laugh lightly but it’s drowned by the yawn that slips out when you respond.

“In your dreams, Hemmings.”

“If I’m lucky.” he replied, allowing his eyes to flutter shut. “Goodnight y/n.”

“Night, Lu.”

#luke hemmings #luke 5sos #luke hemmings one shot #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings one shots #luke hemmings fluff #5sos imagines #5sos imagine #5sos preferences #5sos fluff #luke hemmings drabble #luke hemmings fic #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings blurb #5sos drabbles

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scuttling · 3 years ago

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Head Over Feet - Chapter 1

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Spencer Reid/Female Reader (Unrequited) Word Count: 5,233 Chapters: 4/4 Complete Tags: (Will be 18+, NSFW in future chapters) Unrequited Love, TW Suicide by cop Summary: Falling in love with one of your two closest friends was never something you planned; it only makes sense that falling in love with the other would also come as a complete surprise. *Inspired by/in collaboration with @ssamorganhotchner. Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Link to AO3 or read chapter 1 below! It’s 3 AM—well, you are in a part of suburban Indiana where it’s 3 AM, but that makes it a Virginia 4 AM—and rain patters against the window behind your head as you slump over in your usual spot on the jet’s couch. You are exhausted, the whole team is exhausted, and you’ve just closed your eyes when a warm body presses against yours, thigh to shoulder, and there is a soft sigh in your ear.

“I shouldn’t make coffee. I shouldn’t make coffee, right?” Spencer murmurs, and you turn to look at him, can’t help the fondness that shapes your smile. His hair is untidy from running his hands through it, his eyes tired and rimmed red, and his headphones are dangling around his neck, just like always. He’s so close to you your noses are almost touching.

You return his sigh. So many things in life are unpredictable, but your partner, your closest friend, is always a constant.

“You absolutely should not make coffee,” you say, your voice quiet in the dim cabin. “We’ll be home in almost an hour, and then you’re going to go to bed.”

“At this point, wouldn’t it be better to just stay awake?” he asks with a groan, resting his head against the seat behind him, and you roll your eyes.

“I know the statistics, and if I do, then so do you. Being awake for 24 hours is equivalent to having a 0.10 percent BAC. There’s no way you’ll make it through the day without hurting yourself.” You hear a soft laugh from your right, and it’s Aaron; you hadn’t even realized he was paying attention. You raise your voice a little. “Plus, Hotch said we don’t have to come in until ten.”

He glances over his shoulder at you, eyebrows raised.

“Did I say that?” His lips curve up in a soft smile, and his expression is warm despite the exhaustion in his eyes.

“Don’t you remember? I said, ‘Hotch, you should let us come in at ten so we can get some extra sleep. I think it would really benefit the team.’ Then you said, ‘You know what, you’re right. Wow, you really are the smartest and most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.’” You smile brightly, fully aware you’re being silly; it surprises you when his smile falters a bit, nearly imperceptibly.

“Hmm. Now that you mention it, I do remember something like that. I’m a great boss for agreeing to it.”

“The absolute best,” you reply easily, and the two of you look at each other for just a moment before he turns back to his work and you turn back to Spencer. “So, like I said. Hotch said we don’t have to come in until ten. You need to sleep.”

“It will be after 5:00 by the time we get to the office, more like 5:30. Ten minute wait for the forty-five minute train home means I’ll get there at 6:25—” You are not normally one to cut Spencer off when he gets talking, but this is sleep-deprived rambling, not an informational address, so you place a hand gently on his arm and he falls silent.

“So come stay at my place. I’m closer and you won’t have to wait for the train. We can get a few hours in and then stop at the coffee shop before we head to the office, okay?” The way he looks at you, soft, appreciative, makes it feel like you’re the only two people on the jet for a moment, and he wets his lips, nods.

“Okay. Thank you.” You smile.

“Of course. Maybe rest your eyes; if you fall asleep, I’ll wake you when we get there.” He turns on his music, leans against your shoulder, and takes your suggestion; it’s only a few minutes later that his breathing evens out, softens, and you try and fail to ignore the way that makes your heart ache in your chest.

When the plane lands and you’re grabbing your things, you come up behind Aaron, curl a hand around his arm just above his elbow. He turns to look at you, and he’s more worse for wear than you thought, so pale and tired up close.

“You’re going to go home and get some sleep, right?” All that changes is the set of his eyes, but that’s enough for you to know he has no intention of going home; you sigh. “Am I going to have to force you to come stay at my place too?”

It would be the first time he’s stayed over, where Spencer has crashed with you a handful of times; you are close with the both of them, but Aaron you spend more time with at lunch, or late nights eating dinner in his office, where Spencer comes over for movies or board games regularly. The dynamics of your friendships with them are so different, but both so good, so unexpected. You wouldn’t trade them for anything.

“That’s not necessary,” he says, doesn’t look like it’s a thought he wants to entertain. Maybe he thinks it’s crossing a line? Spencer will be there, so you don’t understand why he’d feel that way, but you don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“I just want you to rest. It’s really no trouble, I have a guest room.” Spencer always opts for your long, overstuffed sectional sofa, so there’s more than enough room for Aaron to stay and get a few hours of sleep. He just shakes his head shortly.

“Thank you, but it’s fine. I’ll be alright. I appreciate your concern,” he says, and that’s clearly the end of the conversation. You just sigh, slide your hand off the back of his arm.

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few hours.” You walk away from him, over to where Spencer is waiting for you, and the two of you get into your car and head to your place.

By the time you get there, Spencer is basically a big, sleepy baby, and you have to carry both of your bags into your apartment and keep your arm around him so he doesn’t slump over. You lean him up against the wall while you unlock your door, then push him gently onto the couch while you grab pillows, blankets, and sheets.

He has clothes in his go bag to change into, but you don’t bother trying to wake him enough for that, just make up a bed for him and take off his shoes, maneuvering him into a somewhat comfortable position.

“Hmm. Thank you,” he mumbles when you cover him with a warm blanket, and he turns his head to kiss you softly on your cheek, then burrows his face into the pillow and falls asleep.

You walk into your bedroom, kick off your shoes, set an alarm, and flop down face first onto your bed. Later that morning, you and Spencer bring coffee and breakfast pastries for everyone; you take Aaron’s coffee and a cherry danish and walk up to his office, knock on the doorframe with your elbow.

You are happy to see he looks a little better than when you left him, and he even softly smiles when he sees you standing there.

“Good morning again. Brought you a little pick-me-up.” You step into the room, set down the coffee and the napkin with the danish on it in the middle of his desk, then lean against it with one hand on the desk and the other hand on your hip. “You look decent.” He chuckles lightly.

“Somehow that doesn’t feel like a compliment.”

“It’s not, it’s an, ‘I wish you would have gotten some rest instead of being stubborn, but I guess it turned out okay.’” He looks into your eyes for a moment, and you hold his gaze. “When someone wants to take care of you, Aaron, you should let them.”

He looks away first, down at the lid of his coffee cup, clears his throat.

“That’s not always possible, but I really do appreciate your concern.” He sounds crestfallen in a way you don’t quite understand, and you hate that he feels that he can’t accept help. You’d hoped he was over that kind of backward thinking.

“You can talk to me about anything. I thought we were close enough for you to know that.”

“We are,” he agrees, looking over at you. There is that same dejected set to his eyes, and it makes you hurt for him. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him like this, years, back when his divorce was still a fresh wound. “Sometimes that’s not always possible either, even if I might want to.”

“I won’t judge you, you know. I care about you.” You reach out to put your hand on his, a gentle, comforting touch. “There’s nothing you could say to me that would change that.”

You are interrupted by a knock at the door—it’s Spencer, with a mouth full of cinnamon roll. Aaron pulls his hand away abruptly like the two of you are doing something wrong, and you furrow your brow. Spencer doesn’t notice, or at least doesn’t say anything.

“Hey, JJ said there might be a case. We’re meeting.”

“Another case?” You take a few steps away from the desk, cross your arms, give Aaron some space. “We just got back five hours ago.”

“Sounds like we should have gone straight there instead. Spree killer, five dead.” He ducks back out of the room, takes off down the hall, and you turn back to Aaron. He’s standing, smooths a hand down the front of his shirt, and you sigh.

“What are the odds I can convince you to take a power nap on the jet? 50:1?” He cracks a smile despite his earlier demeanor, takes the coffee you brought and passes you on his way to the door.

“I’d guess more like 75.” You roll your eyes, grab his danish, take a big bite, and then catch up to him and hand him the rest to finish.

The case takes you to Connecticut, where you are paired with Derek to take witness statements at the precinct. The local police know the identity of the killer, a forty year old man named John Jackson, and your team has predicted that he won’t stop until you find him, and that he will likely attempt to go down via suicide by cop when you do, so everyone is on edge.

After almost three hours of taking statements, you and Derek break for water and coffee, stand at the watercooler shaking your heads.

“This guy is unpredictable. There could be another five, ten bodies before we finally catch up to him,” Derek says, taking a long chug of water, and you cross your arms, lean back against the counter of the kitchenette.

“Hopefully it doesn’t come to that. We’ve got roadblocks, right?” He nods.

“Every road in and out of town, with cops at all highway exits.” You vaguely remember the chief saying that, now that he mentions it; the hours are all starting to blend together, between the case and the lack of sleep, and your team is relying heavily on each other to fill in the gaps.

“Right. And helicopters.” You rub a hand slowly over your hair. “I hate these cases; it’s like the profile isn’t any good until you get to him, and by then it’s too late.” You check your watch, and it’s nearing rush hour, a good time to touch base with the team; you shoot Derek a glance, pull out your phone and gesture toward the hall, step out and dial Aaron.

When he answers, he sounds tense, so you don’t bother with pleasantries.

“Hey, just checking in. Derek and I are about done here; where do you need us?”

“There’s a checkpoint on I-95, mile marker 48; we have a few officers manning it, but we could use a car here, so if you two head there you can send one of them our way.”

“Got it: I-95, mile marker 48,” you repeat as Derek joins you in the hall. “Send a car your way.”

“Yes. Be careful,” he says almost like it’s an afterthought, and you shake your head lightly—as if you are careless any other time.

“We will, you too. Bye.” You end the call, lock your phone, raise an eyebrow in Derek’s direction. “Want me to drive?”

“Oh, and put my life in the hands of Speed Racer?” He takes the keys out of his pocket, holds them out like he’s handing them to you, then pulls them away.

“I've taken several defensive driving courses; I’m probably a better driver than you.” He holds them out again and you snatch them out of his hand. “And sometimes you have to be fast.”

That statement proves true when you are on your way to mile marker 48 and Derek spots the car the unsub was last seen driving. He confirms the plate number, confirms it again, just because your brains are kind of mush, and then you share a look and slam your foot on the gas.

Thank god for all those defensive driving courses.

“Hotch,” Morgan barks into his phone a few seconds later, “we’ve got eyes on the suspect. He’s headed northbound on I-95—we just passed marker 44. We’re in pursuit.” The unsub weaves in and out of traffic, a chorus of colorful language and horns blaring in his wake, and you do your best to keep up while maintaining a safe distance from other cars.

The chase goes on for several miles, and there seems to be no end in sight until you can eventually make out the red glow of the car’s brake lights from across the highway. It’s both a good and bad sign, one you were prepared for.

“He’s gonna bail, Derek.” You cut across several lanes of traffic to make your way to the side of the road, so you can pull off as close to him as possible. “We have to try to talk him down. Think he’ll listen to me?” The whole rampage was triggered by the anniversary of the man’s wife’s death, and you look similar enough that it’s a good possibility. Derek agrees.

“Worth a shot. Just keep your damn gun drawn,” he says, and you huff. You’re pretty sure every member of the team has used the ‘weapons down’ tactic on multiple occasions, but somehow only you and Spencer are always reminded of it.

“I will, but if he wants me to kill him, I’m not going to make it easy.” The unsub goes several hundred feet farther before pulling over, and you follow behind, turn on your four-ways, jump out of the car. Derek covers you, and you approach the vehicle slowly, gun drawn. “John Jackson. Leave your weapon on the seat and exit the vehicle with your hands up.”

The door opens, and you see one empty hand, but he still clutches a pistol in the other. Derek looks over at you, but you don’t dare take your eyes off of John.

“John. Put the gun down. I know you feel hopeless right now, like there’s no way out of this situation, but I promise you there is a way. I’m here to help you.” For the first time, he looks over at you, and you can see the pain in his gaze; it’s clear the man is broken, eyes sunken deeply in despair. He raises the gun—doesn’t point it at you, just raises it into the air.

“You can’t help me. No one can. She’s gone, and I’m left here—in pieces.” The last word is a sob, and you swallow hard, take a step closer.

“I know how much Kathleen meant to you, John, and I’m sorry for your loss. So sorry. But you know this isn’t how she would have wanted things to turn out for you; you know that, right? She loved you.”

“It wasn’t enough, in the end.” He wipes his forearm across his eyes, and Derek tenses, you can see it out of the corner of your eye, but that’s the only move John makes. “She took everything with her and left me empty.”

“It doesn’t have to feel like that forever. I promise you.” You take another step forward, hand outstretched. “If you just set the gun on the ground, I’ll come over and put you in some handcuffs. We’ll have to go to the police station first, but then we’re going to get you help. You’ll feel better.”

John says nothing for several seconds; you are so aware of yourself, your surroundings, that you feel each breath you take as if your body is moving in slow motion. You can see Derek tense again, just slightly; you can hear the sound of another car pulling up behind yours, of doors opening and closing, of shoes on pavement and guns drawn.

“John.” He sighs, presses his lips together, shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to feel better. I want to feel nothing.” He points his gun at you, and you don’t have another choice. If it’s not you, it will be someone else on your team.

He made his choice; you make your non-choice and pull the trigger.

You run to his side when he falls, and so does Derek: no pulse. You’re a good shot. It doesn’t feel like something to be proud of right now. You stand, and so does Derek; he reaches out a hand, places it on your shoulder.

“You tried, you know?” His voice is low, a little rough, and you nod your head. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Thanks.” You don’t say you won’t, can’t guarantee that. The two of you turn around, face the others, and you inhale deeply, exhale deeply, shake your head. Aaron and Spencer both come forward, and you’re a little torn, not sure whose eyes to seek for reassurance, whose words to seek for comfort.

Spencer makes the decision for you, jogs toward you and puts his hands on your shoulders, wraps his arms around you in a hug. You hold him close, rest your head against his arm, and look behind him, at Aaron, who seems more affected than you would have thought. You want to pull him in too, but he is not the public display of affection type, so you let Spencer be enough.

After a few minutes, local law enforcement arrives on the scene, as well as the coroner, and Spencer ushers you into an SUV so you can head back to the precinct.

That night, you are not just tired, but weary, when you make it home. You strip off your clothes and take a quick shower in hopes it will make you feel a little better, then pull on a short, fleece robe and pad to the kitchen to make a cup of herbal tea. You’re just throwing out the tea bag when there’s a knock at the door, and you take your mug with you to answer it.

You aren’t surprised that it’s Aaron on the other side.

“Hi.” Your voice sounds weak to your own ears, but he just nods, takes in your robe and mug of tea, offers his own greeting. “Do you want to come in?” You take a step back and he walks past you into the living room, sits down beside you when you curl up on the sofa. You face him, your shoulder against the back of the couch, your hands in your lap, holding your tea, and he mirrors your posture.

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I know what happened today was difficult for you.” The expression on his face is careful, guarded, but concerned. “How are you doing?”

You reach forward to set your tea on a coaster on the table, scooting a little closer.

“I’m doing alright.” He looks skeptical, stares you down with serious eyes, and you sigh, give in to his silence. You’re not one to easily fold under pressure, but when Aaron is the one applying it, it’s difficult not to. “It’s never easy to kill someone, but… it’s just a little harder when it's someone who clearly needed help, something we could have given him. It’s harder when we’re just too late.”

“I can understand that. Things could have gone so differently if he’d gotten help when he needed it. Maybe no one would have gotten hurt.” He reaches out a hand to carefully cover yours in your lap, looks at you with tender eyes. “Try not to focus on the maybe, okay? Life is hard enough without beating yourself up for something out of your control.”

You nod your head, blink back tears, and lean forward, resting your cheek against his shoulder; he puts his arm around your back and holds you tightly, allows you your moment, and when you begin to pull away he reaches for your tea, takes a sip.

“Minty,” he says, then hands you the mug, and you smile softly, take a sip too.

“It’s Sleepytime tea. Helps me wind down before bed.” It’s not until you say it that it dawns on you—how late it is, that he’s here anyway after almost two days with no sleep. “Let me make you a cup and then put you up in the guest room. Please,” you murmur when he looks like he’s going to decline. “It would make me feel a lot better about today. Just knowing you’re nearby.”

“Are you trying to guilt trip me?” he asks, arching a brow, and you shake your head quickly, reach for his hand again.

“No, no. Of course not. I just know you’re tired, and it would be nice to have a friend close tonight.” You squeeze his fingers, your hand warm from the tea, take a deep breath. “Stay?”

“I’ll go get my bag out of the car,” he says eventually, and you can’t help smiling.

“Okay. I’ll make you some tea.” The next couple of months are fairly commonplace, with cases dotted here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing like those few sleepless days.

You have dinner with Aaron in his office a couple times a week, and it’s always comforting and enjoyable, that easy companionship. You spend time with Spencer at one of your apartments a couple evenings a week, and that’s where things get complicated.

He’s one of your closest friends in the world, one of two people you would do anything for, drop everything for at a moment's notice. As it turns out, he may also be more than that.

You’ve noticed for a while that you tend to gravitate toward him, that you’re drawn to him when he’s speaking, like an invisible magnetic pull. That you can’t help staring at his lips when he talks, his hands when he adds gestures, the serious look of contemplation on his face when he debates his next move as you play chess.

It feels innocent, mostly, until one day he leans over your shoulder to speak into your ear while you’re getting snacks in the kitchen, and you feel your face heat, your heart pound in your chest. He lays a hand on your back, which is not unusual, but he may as well be putting it down your pants for the way it makes you feel in that moment.

You open your mouth to say something, but ultimately you stop yourself. What would you even say? I think I might be in love with you? I think I want you? I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship? Anything of those things would be the wrong thing, so you just push it to the back of your mind and do your best to let it go.

“Are you feeling okay?” Spencer asks one day while you’re pouring coffee in the breakroom, and rightfully so, because you’ve been avoiding him like he’s contagious for the better part of a week. He looks especially cute today, and he’s in a great mood, smiling and laughing at everything Derek and Emily say, and it’s too much for you to handle. You’re just proud of yourself for not saying something embarrassing.

“I’m okay,” you assure him with a light smile you don’t feel. “I’m just a little off today; I’m sure it will pass. Thanks, though.” You fill his mug, and he smiles back, nods.

“Of course. We can skip movie night tonight, if you’re not feeling up to it. I think we’ve both probably seen An American Werewolf in London enough times that we could recite it line for line anyway.” You have to laugh at that, because it’s true; it’s one of your favorites, always so easy to poke fun at that the two of you dissolve into giggles half an hour in.

“You’re definitely right about that. Yeah, let’s cancel for tonight. I’ll go to bed early, get some rest, be good as new tomorrow. Thanks for understanding,” you murmur, turning to look up at him, and he puts his hand on your shoulder.

“You’re welcome. I just hope you feel better soon.”

You hope you figure out what to do soon, too.

You’re getting ready to leave work later that night, shortly after everyone else has gone, when Aaron steps up beside you, clears his throat.

“Do you have plans for tonight? I was just about to order dinner.” You sigh, run a hand over your hair.

“Um. I was supposed to watch movies with Spencer, but I cancelled on him.” His gaze sweeps over you like he’s looking for signs of distress, eyes gentle but appraising.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes and no.” You immediately regret saying that, because it puts him on alert and you aren’t really in the mood to discuss it. “Yes—everything’s alright. I’d love dinner, if you don’t mind the company. And it’s my turn to pay.” You take out your wallet, shove the rest of your bag back under your desk, turn to look up at him. He’s still staring at you like he’s trying to assess your emotional state, and you exhale softly. “Can we just… eat and talk about Jack?”

It takes him a moment, but he nods, pulls out his phone. It’s nonchalant, just quiet acceptance of your terms; his eyes are kind when he looks back over at you.

“I have pictures of him from his last soccer game.” You feel almost overwhelmed with relief, lean against his arm to look at the photos of Jack and his friends in their uniforms, laughing and happy on the field. “Do you want tacos?” he asks, low, after a moment, and you nod your head and smile softly up at him.

“Yeah, but it’s Friday. Why don’t we just go eat? Work can wait until Monday.” It’s a suggestion you’ve made many times before, but this time, to your surprise, he agrees; you grab your bag, and he drives you to the restaurant where you have a margarita, and too many tacos, and so many laughs it’s like he’s almost a different person. He drops you off at your car afterward, and you lean across the seat for a hug, thank him again for taking you out—because, of course, he insisted on paying the bill even though it was your turn. It’s a better evening than you’ve had in the last few weeks.

You mess that up severely by going home and watching An American Werewolf in London anyway, and afterward you lay in bed, try to fall asleep, and think about what you’re going to do about Spencer. It’s almost midnight when you have the dumb idea to go see him—and it’s pouring, which makes it even dumber.

You text him to see if he’s still awake, and he doesn’t answer, but when you park you can see that his bedroom light is on, so you buzz anyway. He lets you up, clearly confused as to what you’re doing there so late; so are you, to be honest, but for some reason it finally felt like the right time to lay it all out on the line. When he opens the door, he looks even more taken aback than he sounded.

“Are you okay? It’s after midnight, and you’re soaked,” he says, pulling you inside and closing the door, and you shake your head.

“No, not really. I’m sorry for springing this on you, Spence, I really am.” You take a deep breath, try to calm yourself; your heart is racing. “I think I love you. You were the first person I clicked with when I started at the BAU, and it has become a genuine friendship that I treasure, but lately I’ve been feeling… more.” He wets his lips, frowns.

“I don’t think now is the right—” A slightly unhinged laugh escapes you, and it stops him mid-sentence.

“I know it’s not the right time, but I don’t think there will ever be a right time, so I’m just… just putting it out there, okay? I think I love you. I can see myself with you, I—I think we could be good together. And I know this is sudden…” you trail off when you see movement behind him; you lean to the side to peer around him, but he blocks you with his body. “Is someone here?”

“I tried to tell you it’s not a good time,” he says, and he sounds apologetic and maybe a little embarrassed on your behalf. You swallow hard.

“Who’s—who’s here? Is it someone I know?” He shakes his head, and you exhale a ragged breath. That’s a small miracle, at least, that you didn’t just spew a love confession in front of one of your friends—well, two of your friends. “I should go. I need to go—I’m sorry.” You back up, but you bump into the door noisily; you forgot he’d closed it behind you. Someone comes into the hall to check on the sound, and of course, it’s a beautiful woman wearing one of Spencer’s sweaters and not much else. She is your opposite in every way, and that makes it hurt so much worse.

You really never stood a chance.

“Spencer? Is everything okay?” she asks, arms crossed over her chest, and you fumble for the doorknob, wrench the door open, and take off down the hall.

You run for your car—the rain has only gotten heavier, and if you were soaked before, you’re downright sodden now, your clothes soaked through—and you tug on the door handle, but it doesn’t budge: locked, of course. You pat your pockets for your keys, but by the time you find them, the small surge of adrenaline you felt has left your body, and all you feel is heartbreak.

You rest your arms against the window, your head against your arms, and take several deep, gasping breaths; tears follow, burning hot, streaming down your face, and for a few moments you just let them, let yourself ache with embarrassment and bitterness until it physically hurts to continue.

You exhale softly, wipe your face with your wet sleeve as if that fixes the problem, and then unlock your car and head to the only place—the only person—you can think of with your head so messed up.

Taglist 🤍: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner @hotforhotchner11 @itsmytimetoodream

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #spencer reid x female reader #spencer reid x reader #head over feet

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sunwoo-hoo · 3 years ago

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↣ school blues

↳ a/n: here it is anon! i hope you don’t mind i altered the request a little bit. this was seriously one of my favorite requests to write so far so i genuinely hope you like it just as much as i do!

↳ requested? yes

↳ genre: fluffyyy + hint of humour

↳ send me a request here!

↳ word count: 1.6k

↳ summary: haruto x female reader (best friends) highschool au where you both are oblivious to each other’s feelings until a friend points it out.

「 7:00 AM 」 You jolted awake hearing the annoying sound of the alarm clock. You couldn’t believe it, summer was officially over and it was time to go back to school. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Sure, you hated waking up really early in the mornings, and sometimes even skipping breakfast just so you could have those extra 10 minutes of sleep. But you realized it was all worth it when you got to see him. Watanabe Haruto your best friend for nearly 6 years. Was today finally the day you would tell him how you feel? No, you couldn’t. You didn’t want to destroy any possibility of ruining your friendship. He was everything you could ever want in a best friend, loyal, funny, always looking out for you.

Could you really risk it?

You sighed looking at your alarm clock when you realized you were staring at your ceiling for nearly 5 minutes. You reluctantly got out of bed getting ready to start your day. Once you showered, brushed your hair and teeth you decided to put on subtle makeup. I wonder if he’ll notice. Once you finished your morning routine you quickly gave yourself a once over in the mirror before leaving walking to Haruto’s house.

You had to admit, even though school was back in session you couldn’t deny how autumn was one of your favorite seasons. The crispiness in the air, how the leaves felt under your feet walking. It wasn’t too hot or too cold, it was perfect.

Finally reaching Haruto’s house you gently knocked on the door when his mother answered.

“Oh! [name] don’t you look nice” she said smiling warmly at you. “Haruto should be down any moment, I almost had to drop a bucket of water on him this morning because he didn’t want to wake up” she blurted laughing. Joining in with her laughter you couldn’t help but think of being in that same situation when you woke up.

When he finally came down the stairs you couldn’t help but stare at him. You were in shock on just how much he changed over the summer growing in at least 6 inches in height, nearly towering over you. His black hair was the perfect length resting against his forehead. His skin a milky white with no flaws what so ever. His lips which were not to big and not too small. The healthiest shade of pink. He was perfect.

“Earth to [name]! C’mon we’re gonna be late” he chuckled waving his hand in front of your face. You blinked losing your train of thought.

“Oh r-right” you mumbled

He grabbed your hand without a second thought pulling you out the front door as you faintly heard his mother shouting “Have a great day!”

You finally made it to school when you both saw your mutual friend Park Jeongwoo who you met through Haruto.

He was just as handsome with his tanned skin and charming smile but he was always like a brother to you.

“It’s about time you two made it, class nearly starts in 15 minutes” said Jeongwoo.

“We would’ve been here earlier but [name] was day dreaming again” Haruto smirked

You nudged him with your elbow “I was not!” you nearly shouted. He raised his hands up in defeat “Sure... whatever you say” he replied sarcastically pushing your buttons. You were about to retort with a snide comment back when Jeongwoo interrupted you both.

“I swear you two are like an old married couple” you glared while Haruto simply shrugged his shoulders.

You then heard the warning bell letting you know that you had to be in your first class in 5 minutes. You quickly said your goodbyes to Haruto since you and Jeongwoo had your first class together.

Once Haruto was out of sight and ear shot you pinched Jeongwoo “Ah-Hey! What was that for?” he grumbled rubbing the spot where you pinched.

“Why would you say that in front of him?” you hissed. Realizing what you meant Jeongwoo replied “[name..] it’s been nearly 6 years you have to tell him how you feel before someone else’s does” he reasoned.

You sighed looking down at the ground “I just can’t okay? I don’t want to ruin what we have”.

His eyes soften at you, he was in a tough spot. You and Haruto were his best friends, you two just needed that little nudge. He smirked at himself when he realized what he needed to do.

You panicked when you heard the bell, you were officially late to class now. You quickly grabbed Jeongwoo sleeve and made a run for it.

「 11:30 AM 」 Your morning classes were one big blur, but you smiled when you heard the bell ring indicating that it was lunch time. You quickly went to your locker to exchange your books for your next classes before heading to lunch. Doing it early so that you didn’t have to run straight after eating. Opening your locker your eyes nearly missed the piece of paper that fell out onto the ground. You were confused but picked it up anyway opening it.

「 Dear, [name] meet me by the courtyard after school by 4:00 there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. 」

Could it be? Was it really Haruto? There’s no way, did he know your feelings? But how did he find out? your mind was going a mile a minute until (speak of the devil) you heard Haruto interrupting your thoughts.

“[Name!!] this is the second time today I’ve had to bring you back to reality. Do I need to take you to the nurse?” he teased

You quickly crumpled the piece of paper in your locker before closing it shut. You rolled your eyes playfully “No, I’m just thinking about what I want for lunch” you replied.

He smirked “Me too, I’m starving let’s go. Jeongwoo already got us a table”.

What was suppose to be an easy going lunch with your two best friends your mind could only think of the note you received in your locker. Your body becoming extremely anxious. You were hungry before but now food was the last thing on your mind.

Haruto definitely took notice because once lunch was over he handed you a ziploc bag of fruit saying “You didn’t eat anything the whole lunch period. Are you sure your okay [name]?” he asked genuinely worried about you.

You gave him a faint smile “I promise I’m okay, it’s just first day jitters” you lied.

Haruto didn’t believe you in the slightest but he knew whatever it was you would tell him when you were ready. He gently moved a strand of hair that had gotten loose during the hectic day behind your ear before replying “If you say so [name] just promise me you’ll eat some fruit in your next class okay?” he pleaded

You looked up at him and smiled brightly “Of course”

“Good, c’mon I’ll walk you to your next class”.

「 4:00 PM 」 You couldn’t believe it you made it through the end of the first day back to school. You wanted to jump in excitement but it also meant you were finally going to face your secret admirer. What if it wasn’t even Haruto? That would’ve been the worst case scenario. Should you even go? No, enough was enough. You decided to face your feelings if it was Haruto or not.

You waited until most of the students cleared out for the day before heading to the courtyard. You sat by a nearby bench waiting apprehensively. Your heart started to race, your palms were starting to become sweaty and that’s when you heard him.

“[name?]” you turned your head and saw him. It was Haruto. You smiled “So it was you?” you wondered.

He looked at you confusedly “What do you mean? I got a letter saying that a girl liked me but I thought it was joke”

Your then felt your heart sank, but none of it made sense. You got the same letter but the context was entirely different.

You got up and walked towards him, it was now or never. No backing out now.

“Haruto... I do like you, hell, I love you. Ever since we met I knew you were the one for me. You’re my best friend, my partner in crime. You’re who I think of the minute I wake up and my last thought before I go to bed. I-I..” you rambled

He smirked grabbing your hand pulling you close, your mind couldn’t even comprehend when he leaned down and crashed his lips onto yours. It was everything you thought your first kiss would be. Sweet, passionate, comfortable. Usually first kisses were horrible and awkward but with Haruto everything felt right. He brought his free hand up to your neck deepening the kiss.

When you finally broke apart you looked up at him.

“I’ve always loved you too [name]... I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you. I didn’t think you felt the same way” he revealed.

Hearing those words your body finally felt relaxed you softly laughed at him. He smiled in return.

He was about to give you another kiss until you both heard the sound of clapping coming from the trees.

You both whipped your head and saw none other than Jeongwoo walking towards you and Haruto. That’s when you realized it, hitting you like a bolt of lightning it was Jeongwoo.

“IT WAS YOU?!” you screamed at Jeongwoo

He laughed and responded “Of course it was me [name] you both are so oblivious. Aren’t you glad I gave you both the push you needed?”

You only glared at him while Haruto playfully shoved Jeongwoo.

Next thing you knew all three of you started to laugh, Haruto pulling you in close once more.

You couldn’t believe how from one school day you got everything you had always hoped for. Looking at both your best friends you thought to yourself.

This was going to be your best year yet.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

#treasure imagines #treasure scenarios #treasure x reader #haruto x reader #watanabe haruto x reader #yg treasure #treasure #treasure reactions #[mine 🌸]#treasure fluff

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christaspirit · 2 years ago

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I find it funny when people write a Percy Jackson fanfic, have Percy decide to try out for the swim team because he's Poesiden's son, and then he instantly blows everyone away because he's so good.

Like... do you not know anything about swimming? Unless Percy's had swim lessons in the past that went beyond the basics, he's gonna get disqualified from races. Percy's strong, and has water powers, but swimming requires a lot of technique, especially breaststroke (because, no matter how much I love it, it is still the easiest stroke to get disqualified from). I honestly don't think people actually researched this, and are going off of what they see on the Olympics.

Also, Percy being popular at school for being Swim captain? One, you normally need to be a senior to be captain of the swim team. Two, people in high school normally don't think swimming is an actual sport (or even exists at the high school). And in general when people have him be famous outside of the school for being a swimming champion, or at least having all his classmates come to his meets... look, that would be nice, but people don't care about swim that much. Also, half the meets on a high school team are at least an hour away. And people always have more than one race. And people watching can't just come onto the deck. And after you get out of the water, you aren't just gonna stand there while people talk to you. What actually happens is: you finish the race, you stay in the water (or get out as of covid) until the next race dives over you, you walk away over to where your team is, maybe you talk to the coach about your time, quickly dry yourself off, and then go to the end of the pool to cheer on your team. Also, the winner of the race isn't announced, just the name of the kids who are swimming, and what lanes their in, and what team they're on. At the end of the meet, you cool down (if you swam recently), and then you go home.

Jeez, didn't mean for this to get so long. Also, didn't realize just how much was different in fan fics until I actually wrote it all down. And this isn't speculation, I'm currently on my high school's swim and dive team (oh, yeah, it's always a swim and dive team, not just swim. You also don't have to try out for it). So I'm speaking from experience.

I had a swim meet two days ago.

Also, despite what it sounds like, I'm not hating on the fan fics that do this. I honestly think it's kinda fun, and it fits the character, and it's nice to see swim get acknowledged (why does it feel like all high school media only has football, cheer, and basketball (actually, that last one is high school musical)). I just find it funny how different (need I say, wrong) the fics are compared to real life. I still love them, but I also like even more the fics that get it right. I read a fic once where they acknowledged having to occasionally get up at 5 AM for a club meet. I felt really bad for the characters (don't worry. When you wake up early for swim, you don't stay exhausted for long. Trust me. I woke up at 6:30 this morning for 7 AM swim, I'm running on 4 hours of sleep, and I feel perfectly fine. Your fine after you're in the water for a couple of minutes).

I should probably stop rambling.

#percy jackson #pjo

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reidyoulikeabook · 4 years ago

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Right Where You Left Me

Ship: BAU! Gender Neutral! reader x Spencer Reid

#Request - Could you do some angst with “you dont deserve my forgiveness?” Any ship!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: Mention of death, violence, injury (not serious), angst, mourning, a lot of tears. Also, swearing, anger, fighting (verbal, not physical.)

Summary: You and Spencer Reid had been together for a year before he ‘died.’ You grieved him. You mourned him.

A/N: Title stolen from my (current) favourite Taylor Swift song. Not sure how I feel about this one but! Here it is anyway! My requests are open & pls feel free to let me know what you think!!

14 days and 30 minutes exactly

You don’t think about the day Spencer Reid died. You can’t, because even remembering he’s dead feels as if an ice bucket has been tipped over your head. Not even now, two weeks later, have you really gotten over the initial shock that you felt. Every waking moment felt like you were trying to solve some kind of never-ending puzzle. Each emotion was overwhelming, too much to process. It felt like things would only start to get better, like everybody promised they would, when you started to be able to name the emotions rather than describe them as the physical sensations they brought on.

And you didn’t think that’d happen anytime soon.

The shared apartment was too much. You hadn’t slept in your bed since he’d been gone, and forbid anyone else from going into the bedroom. It was a sanctuary.

You understood now more than ever why victims families never changed a thing about the room of their loved ones. Every single thing felt deliberate. Theirs. It was a reflection of the time they were most alive, living. A unique snapshot of them in motion. The mess they left that they expected to come home to.

Rationally, you knew that wasn’t true. There wasn’t a sock hanging off Spencer’s bedside table, or a clean cardigan balled up on the floor, for any reason other than he’d been in a rush that morning, and had left an uncharacteristically large mess in his wake. In more ways than one.

***

2 months, 5 days, 8 hours

Being back at work helps somewhat, but the office feels empty without him there to ramble off factoids about anything and everything, to hear Morgan calling him ‘kid’ every five minutes. He only called you that now.

Simmons is nice, really he is. It isn’t his fault he’s there in place of Spencer and you try hard not to feel personally aggrieved by his presence. He doesn’t do anything to antagonise you, he stays out of your way more than anything. You don’t do anything to purposely make him uncomfortable: you do try to be agreeable and make small talk. But it’s hard not to look at him without thinking how, if everything was how it should be, Spencer would be stood in his place.

***

3 months, 26 days, 3 hours.

There is no ‘new normal.’ You’ve heard the term tossed around a few times in relation to grief, but if there is a new normal you’re still struggling to find it. When you’re not on cases, there’s no ‘normal’. You still don't sleep in your own bed. Sometimes you stay on Rossi’s, or Morgan’s, or Garcia’s couch. Sometimes, read: maybe once, it’s in the spare room at the place you and Spencer used to share. Sometimes, when you get worried about being a burden, it’s a hotel. It’s easier to feel as if you’re choosing to stay away from home, rather than acknowledging that home, as you understand it, no longer exists.

You still wake up and instinctually search for Spencer most mornings. Sure, work is keeping you occupied and you smile a little more these days. You even allowed yourself to be dragged out for drinks last weekend. But nothing feels like it should. You don’t know if that’s normal for grief or if you just aren’t moving forward at all, doomed to tread yourself deeper into the melancholic quicksand that’s got a hold on you.

You talk at length about it with Garcia over wine one night.

“Nothing feels right,” you admit, “Everything just feels...”

Garcia waits, just tipping her chin slightly to encourage you to continue. She’s got the counsellor act down and you’d have the decency to feel embarassed if you weren’t just so damn exhausted all the time.

“I feel trapped, I guess. Like I’m frozen. I keep thinking maybe it’ll get better once the trials over. Once the whole legal aspect of it is over and put to bed, then maybe I’ll have some closure on the whole situation,” you mumble, “I just don’t know how to move forward. I don’t feel like I’ve moved forward. And I know it’s only been three months but I’ve only stayed at our apartment twice and I can’t bring myself to move any of his things and...”

She just waits. In that moment, you’re so grateful for her.

“I’m stuck here. I can’t change anything. I can’t bring myself to move any of his things. I’m paying rent on a place I don’t live in but I can’t move because how can I live somewhere he’s never been? I feel like I’m stuck. I can’t move out of the world he lived in but the world is moving on even without him. And I’m just...I’m just here, Garcia.”

She nods sympathetically, placing her hand on your arm, “Maybe it’ll help when the case is wrapped up. When you have that closure.”

��Yeah,” you agree, “Yeah. I hope so.”

“There’s something you’re not saying,” she says, gently, “And you don’t have to say it. But if you’re holding back because you feel guilty then you don’t have to feel guilty about anything you say to me, my darling.”

You start to well up then. The pressure in your chest is heavy, something akin to guilt. It slices into your chest, cut glass sitting between your ribs and slicing you open every time you breathe in. You’ve been thinking it a lot lately. Too much. It’s making you feel awful and you can’t decide if putting it out into the world verbally is going to be a release or make it feel too real.

Garcia waits patiently.

You decide to believe it’ll be the former, then whisper, “I wish I loved him less. I wish I’d loved him less so this wouldn’t hurt as much.”

And then the sobs come. The sobs that wrack your chest and sting your eyes and leave you looking like you’ve been on the receiving end of an upper cut. Because how could you? How could you possibly want to take back any of the love you had so willingly, freely, given to the person you loved most? What kind of person did it make you to want to take back the good memories: to wish that instead of having waffles on the couch that last Sunday, you’d had a fight about the library fine he’d gotten because of you? How could you want to switch the puzzle pieces to create a less idyllic picture of your life together, just so you wouldn’t feel so much loss when you looked at it?

She just rubs your back through it, knowing that no words can help but still saying the thing she thinks you need to hear most, “That doesn’t make you a bad person, sugar plum. That makes you human.”

***

4 months, 6 days, 14 hours.

Hotch calls you all into the briefing room.

“A few months ago a decision had to be made. Somebody had the potential to make an incredible breakthrough on a case that had been airtight for years. But it wasn’t possible for that individual to complete that work without cover. They needed to be officially gone,” Hotch’s voice booms but you swear you can hear a hesitation, “It wasn’t necessary at the time for you to have that information. Providing you with it would have compromised the safety of one of our agents, and the integrity of their investigation.”

You glance around the room, confused, noticing everyone is sharing the same bewildered look. Except Emily.

“I apologise completely for having to keep this from you, it was a decision that was not taken lately, and I did not have the final say. That being said, any discontent about this decision should be directed towards me,” he glances towards Emily, and she’s looking nervous now.

Hotch lets out a huff, somehow more tense than usual, “SSA Reid was not killed after the attack in Seattle. That was his cover, but he was investigating a case.”

He’s still talking but you can’t hear anything. SSA Reid was not killed. SSA Reid was not killed. You flip the sentence over a hundred times. And for the millionth time since SSA Reid was killed, you have no idea what you feel.

There’s uproar from everybody. Shouting. And then Hotch says something and everybody is looking at you, scanning you for a reaction and you have nothing. Nothing at all.

“Hi,” a voice from the doorway, nervous and shy, a voice you’ve only heard in dreams and voicemails and recordings from nights out that you must have watched hundreds of times by now, if they were tapes you would have worn them out long ago.

And you know you can’t face him. You can’t face any of them.

You look around the room, first at Hotch whose eyes flicker with what looks like remorse. Then, at Emily who just looks guilty as all hell. You don’t look at him. You can’t look at him.

The tension in the room is palpable but in your peripheral you see Garcia and J.J flock to the doorway, embracing him.

Rossi, is the one who comes to you, “____?”

You stare at him, completely blankly, “Yeah?”

“You need to speak to him. Need to hear him out.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, allowing him to help you to your feet. His reassuring hands on your shoulders turn you around and you meet his face. The face of the boyfriend you spent the last four months mourning while everybody watched you fall apart. And half of them knew.

So that’s what you feel. Anger.

“Glad you’re back,” you snipe, pushing past him, “Glad you’re alive.”

Everybody watches you go. A tense silence fills the room. Spencer clears his throat, after what feels like an eternity, muttering, “I-I’ll go after ... I’ll go and see if I can...”

It wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for, if he’s honest. Although he wasn’t sure what exactly he’d been expecting.

“____ please, just let me talk to you, I’m sorry, please just let me have a chance to explain,” He manages to catch you at the elevator just in time, slipping through the gap with his lithe body, “Please. I need to explain. I need to apologise.”

“You can apologise as much as you want. You don’t deserve my forgiveness. You’ll never deserve my forgiveness.”

The venom in your tone leaves him floundering.

“___ please,” he’s begging, and you won’t look at him because you can hear the tears in his voice and he’s begging again, “Please, please look at me, please listen to me. You have to understand, you have to give me a chance to explain, please.”

You’ve never been this angry at him before. But you are now. It consumes you, you’ve never understood a crime of passion before and you’re not going to put your hands on him, of course, but fuck do you understand it now. How a person could just snap. The rage swells in you, screaming. Every muscle in your body is tense. It takes all you have to ball your hands into fists, digging your nails into your palm so hard you’re sure they break the skin. You’re furious. Furious at every single one of them.

“You lied to me,” you spit, “You lied to me and let me think you were dead. You and Hotch and Emily. I didn’t sleep in our bed for four months, Spencer. I’ve spent the past four months frozen, like, I couldn’t move forward without you. I didn’t start to move on. I've spent the last four months falling apart and trying to find a way to put myself back together without you, and then what, you just come back? You think we can just go back to normal? Spencer, I didn’t feel alive this past few months. I’ve been floating through, barely keeping it together. And for what? A case? That was important enough for you to do this to me?"

It’s true, you’ve spent the last four months feeling like you were the one who died. That you were united in being ghosts, except you were haunting all the places you used to go together, and he was just haunting your dreams. And he’d been alive. This. Whole. Time.

You storm out of the lift, lifting your head to look at him for only the second time in four months, “Please. Just leave me alone. You’ve done enough.”

He knows you aren’t wrong. Knows he doesn’t know if he could forgive you if the roles were reversed. Knows, more than anything, that he’s really fucked things up. You’ll never forgive him. That’s what you said, and right now, seeing anger like never before in your eyes, he has no reason whatsoever to doubt that isn’t completely true.

You don’t even make it to the parking lot before you feel your resolve melt into absolutely nothing. Anger descending into relief, hot tears cascading down your cheeks as the mantra starts again on a new loop in your head: SSA Reid was not killed.

#spencer reid fanfic #imagine spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid #imagine criminal minds #criminal minds x you #bau!reader

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biggestsimp12 · 2 years ago

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☁️Fluff prompts☁️

____________________

1."You're so adorable."

2. "Come cuddle."

3. "Can't you stay a little longer?"

4. "When I'm with you, I'm happy."

5. "Going somewhere?

6. "I'm better, now that you're here."

7. "I could never forget you."

8. "You make me happy."

9. "You're more than that."

10. "You're the only one I wanna wake up next to."

11. "you're hugging me too tight!"

12. "stop looking at me like that!"

13. "has anyone told you that your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?"

14. "how mad would you be if i kissed you?"

15. "LOL, my lipgloss is all over your lips."

16. "that's the first time I've ever seen you smile."

17. "you're lucky you're hot."

18. "I didn't know you could sing."

19. "you weren't supposed to hear that!"

20. "shut up before i kiss you."

21. "you give me butterflies."

22. "I can't focus around you."

23. "kiss me better."

24. "why'd you stop?"

25. "you wrote me a song?"

26. "I'm not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand."

27. "you ramble and it's adorable."

28. "are you blushing?"

29. "I'll drive you home."

30. "you're shit at math."

31. "take my jacket."

32. "could you hold my hand?"

33. "you're so cute when you're mad."

34. "you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."

35. "I would do this everyday if I could."

36. "I love you so much that it terrifies me."

37. "you have soft hands."

38. "are you tired?"

39. "you have everything to me, can't you see that?"

40. "can i keep it, the photo of us?"

41. "you're a terrible driver."

42. "You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with"

43. "did i say that out loud?"

44. "hey, only i can call them that!"

45. "have you ever thought about how much worse our lives would be without each other?"

46. "I meant it when I said for better or for worse."

47. "that's the sixth time you've complimented me today."

48. "nothing else matters except for you."

49. "we could run away."

50. "the world could be on fire and I'd still be happy as long as I'm with you."

51. "they're such an idiot. my idiot but still."

52. "this isn't adrenaline, I want to spend my life with you."

53. "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

54. "You're honestly the cutest when you're all flustered and red."

55. "We need more people in the world like you."

56. "Okay, well if you're leaving me for the day then the least you can do is give me a hug before you go."

57."I'll do you one better and give you a hugs and a few kisses."

58. "Why have I never noticed how gorgeous your eyes are?"

59. "Your arms are my safe space, so that's it

where I'll be sleeping tonight."

60. "Your nose is just so.. boop-able." *Boop*

61. "I need you to plant a kiss right on my forehead. Please."

62. "I can't move because you're sitting on top of me."

- "Have you ever thought that maybe

the problem isn't me sitting on you, but

maybe you're sitting under me?"

63. "Your hair is really soft after you wash it."

64. "Ssh. Stop fussing. I'm just braiding your hair."

65. "You smell really nice."

66. "Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater?

It smells like you."

67. "I might have slept with your robe when you were gone."

68. "If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you."

69. "Here, let's share the blanket."

70. "You're comfortable."

71. "You are my new pillow."

72. "You are very endearing when you are half-asleep."

73. "But I want to hear you sing."

74. "We can talk over dinner."

75."Don't be stubborn. Try it!"

76. "Don't get up - I'll do it."

77. "Will you let me rub your back?"

78. "How to give me a back scratch?"

79. "Star-gazing was a good idea."

80. "You look beautiful/handsome in the moonlight."

81. "I'll always be here for you."

82. "I'll be here to protect you."

83. "I think I love you." "You are my love."

84. "How about something warm? It will help you sleep." "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

85. "Don't be silly. I want to stay up with you."

"It's not morning yet."

86. "Shush and go back to bed."

87. "I heard you talking in your sleep."

88. "Your bed head is really cute.

89. "We'll do dishes together."

90. "You have something in your hair.. um-do you want me to get it out?"

91. "Just 5 more minutes."

92. "I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror.."

93. "I would've had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm and I didn't want to wake you."

94. "I know I've kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please."

95. "Are you wearing my shirt?"

96. "Wanna, like-I mean, if you're not busy.. We could you have lunch? Or even just coffee if you don't

have a lot of time?"

97. "So I was driving past a pet store and

couldn't help but wonder how cute an animal would be like in our home.."

98. "Shooting star. Make a wish."

99. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

100. "I want to marry you."

----------------------------------

Feel Free to use them!

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kwinsispn3 · 4 years ago

Text

Last Resort

anon asked: Hey! I love your work! Do you think you could do a sister!reader fic where Dean, Sam and Cas are away on a long hunt, and the reader (younger, maybe between 11-14) has a panic attack? Since her brothers nor Cas can help, Crowley shows up... Thank you!

Word Count: 1,762

A/N: I know panic attacks can be different for a lot of people, so I kind of just made the panic attack in this story how mine usually are. I also set this before the boys found the bunker since Crowley is still around. *Also not my gif*

“Hey, wake up.... Y/N c’mon wake up.” Sam said as he shook your sleeping form.

You rolled over to your side and blinked your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the light shining in from the hallway.

“M’what?” You mumbled.

“Y/N, Cas called us. Dean and I have to leave to go help him, it’s important.”

“What’s going on?” You wondered, looking over at the clock on the nightstand to see that it was 2:30 in the morning.

“We’ll call you and explain everything later, but we have to leave. We might be gone for a few days but I wanted to let you know.” Sam said frantically.

“Okay, call me in the morning.” You said, still half asleep and not really understanding what was going on.

Sam nodded and shut the lights off as he and Dean gathered their things before leaving the motel room. You rolled to your other side and fell back asleep within minutes.

....................

You woke up the next morning and sat up in bed, looking around, you were confused as to why Sam and Dean weren't there. It took you a minute but you remembered Sam waking you up. Just as you were thinking about where the hell they went, your phone rang.

“Sam?”

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“Uh, where are you guys and when are you coming back?”

“Sorry for leaving in such a rush. Cas called us about some other angels that are going around taking people out. Normally he’d be able to handle this himself but they're moving pretty fast.” Sam explained.

“When will you be back?”

“Not sure, but this one might take a few days. Maybe a week at worst, but we’ll keep you updated.”

“What about food?” You asked, glancing at the small motel kitchen.

“Dean went on a supply run after you fell asleep last night, the fridge should be stocked. We wouldn’t leave you alone if we thought you couldn't handle it.” Sam said.

“Okay, well, hurry back.”

“We will. Gotta go, we’ll talk to you later.” “Stay safe, Y/N/N.” You heard Dean say in the background.

....................

It had been 4 days since the boys left and you were bored out of your mind. You had opened snack after snack, watched way too much tv, and even snuck two of Dean’s beers. You knew he would notice and be pissed off but you didn't even care at the time.

Just when you thought you would be fine by yourself, you weren't.

The paranoia started to set in, which happened often when the boys would leave on longer hunts and not take you with them. Sometimes, you were able to brush it off and be patient until they got back. Other times like this, it was like a nagging feeling of terrible thoughts that would set off a panic attack.

There was a string of bad thoughts that kept rushing through your head. Wondering if Sam and Dean would be okay, if they were going to make it back safely, or if they were already dead and you just didn’t know it yet.

These thoughts sent you pacing back and forth around the motel room. You chewed your lip as you imagined Sam and Dean walking through the door with their bags, trying your best to calm yourself down.

You sat down on the edge of the bed as you felt your breathing picking up, feeling so panicked and uncomfortable, being alone for longer than you were okay with. You wanted to call Sam and Dean to check in but you didn’t want to be a bother. Your brothers knew that you had occasional panic attacks, but they didn’t know the extent of them. It was also a little embarrassing, so you decided to keep it on the low.

That’s when your phone rang, seeing it was Sam, you answered almost right away.

“Sammy?” You breathed out.

“Hey kiddo. What’s up?” Dean answered instead.

“Uh, hey.... nothing much.... Is Sam there?”

“Yeah, he just fell asleep in the passenger seat. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, just um.... when will you be back?”

“We just finished up actually. We were able to track down the last string of dickhead angels so were on our way back right now.”

“How long?” You asked a little too eagerly.

“Should be there in about 4 hours, could be less.... You know how I drive.” Dean let out a chuckle.

“Ok great, hurry back.” Was all you could think of saying before hanging up the phone.

....................

Sam stirred in his seat, waking up and turning to Dean to see his phone in his hand. “What are you doing with my phone?”

“Y/N called, she was just asking where we were.”

“Oh. How is she?”

“Good... sounded a little weird though.”

“What do you mean weird?”

“I dunno. She’s probably just getting impatient.”

Sam took a moment to think about how Dean worded that, realizing you might've been having an episode.

“No more stops tonight, let’s get back as soon as possible.”

“Why?”

“She might be panicking a little bit, we’ve been gone for almost a week.”

“She’ll be fine, she just needs to get used to being on her own.” Dean started being insensitive.

“Dean, I don’t think you know how panic attacks work.”

“She doesn't still have those, does she?”

“Yes, as far as I know she does, and depending on the person, they can get pretty bad.”

Dean didn't say anything after that and continued to drive faster.

....................

You sat on the floor up against the motel bed and talked to yourself in your head, praying to Cas since your brothers were still a long ways away. You repeated the same message over and over, expecting to see Cas pop up in front of you, but it never happened.

You started to panic even more that you started to repeat your cry for help out loud, not to anyone directly, but in hopes of feeling like someone was listening.

You weren’t expecting it but someone was listening.

And that someone was Crowley.

Crowley appeared after minutes of you talking, it scared the shit out of you, making you spring up from where you were sitting.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You questioned.

“Well, someone is a little uneasy from what I heard.” He glanced back at you.

“Why are you even listening to me?”

“You clearly wanted someone to, and I was in the area.” Crowley said jokingly.

“Sam and Dean aren’t gonna like it when they see that you’re here.” You said as you backed up out of habit.

“Sam and Dean aren’t going to be here for a while now are they love? I might as well give you some sort of company.” He smirked, as he pulled out one of the kitchen chairs to sit down.

“Why are you acting nice?”

“Who said I was acting? The king of hell can’t do little Winchester a favor?”

“Why would you want to though, it’s pretty unlike you.”

“Let’s say I owe you and your brothers one, I can’t always be ruining things can I? That would just be bad for my reputation.” Crowley sassed.

You scoffed at his sarcastic remarks, then realizing that he did a good job of distracting you from how you were feeling.

“Thanks” you gave a small smile, accepting the nice gesture Crowley gave.

“No need... Well, I guess my work here is done.” Crowley sighed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have business to attend.” Before you could turn around to hear what Crowley was talking about, he was gone. Moments later, you heard a familiar car engine pull up in front of the motel room.

Perfect timing.

You drew the curtains to reveal your brothers emerging from the car, with Cas already walking up to the door.

You let out a sigh of relief as you welcomed all three of them inside.

“Hello Y/N.....” Cas paused and looked around with suspicion growing on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I had a sense that one from the opposite side was lingering in this vicinity.”

“Okay, I literally understood none of that.”

“There was a demon here at some point. I’m sure of it.”

“Y/N, what’s he rambling about?” Dean asked as he hauled in the last of the things from the impala.

“Uh, I don’t know.” You lied.

Sam could see right through you face and knew something had happened. You didn’t look okay.

“Y/N, was there someone here? Did something try to hurt you?” Sam asked, grabbing Dean’s attention, stopping him from what he was doing.

“Well, Crowley...”

“Crowley!? Was he here?” Dean’s voice boomed.

“Dean, can you please not make a big deal...”

“Big deal!!?”

“Dean, dude seriously chill out. Just tell us what happened, Y/N.” Sam interrupted.

You told the three boys everything that happened. Sam immediately felt bad that he wasn’t there. Dean was worried that his little sister dealt with panic attacks this bad, but he still wasn’t happy that the king of hell just decided to pop in without warning.

“Y/N/N, why didn’t you tell me over the phone?” Sam asked.

“I didn’t want you to worry. Plus, you were too far anyways.”

“Well next time that happens, you call us, no matter where we are. I promise, you mean more to us than our work, we’d drop everything, even if we were miles away just to get to you.” Sam explained.

“Yeah, what he said.” Dean chimed in.

“Wow, I love how much you care.” You joked.

“You know I love you Y/N/N..... but I’m gonna have to lay down some rules with Crowley, and one of them is no dropping in when I’m not here. I don’t trust that shady punk.”

Sam rolled his eyes and shrugged his arms, motioning for a hug which you gladly accepted.

“Nothing but chick flick moments over here. Get a room.” Dean scoffed.

“Shut up!”

“So, where is Crowley now?” Cas asked innocently.

“Were you even listening the whole time?” Sam asked confused.

“No, there is many things being said over angel radio.”

“God dammit, Cas.” Dean said as he got up to grab a beer out of the fridge. “Who drank my beers?”

“Wasn’t me...” Sam shrugged.

You knew you were in big trouble, forgetting about the choices you made earlier. So you slipped out the front door to let Dean cool down, but he had other plans. Sam quietly ratted you out as he motioned to the door that had just shut.

“Y/N! Get back here!”

Requests are open again!

Tags:

@jackjackljaqui @hunting-the-grievers @susan-is-in-the-house@flirtyonsie @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @justsomedreaming

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sly-merlin · 4 years ago

Text

A busy birthday | j.suh

Requested : johnny + birthday dinner surprise

Genre : fluff

"Stop being a cry baby johnny."

Yuta said, shoving his hair back away from his face. Since the break of dawn, they had been practicing like bulls running after a red flag and ever since then, johnny had been moping around with disappointment painted over his face.

"I'm not being a cry baby yuta. I just asked if you all want to practice late at night. Simple." He replied and gulped down the remaining water from the disposable bottle. Yuta shook his head and snatching the empty bottle, crushed it from the middle before facing johnny,

"Just talk to her. It's not like we are allowed to go anywhere tonight. might as well spare yourself the trouble and confront her. Anyone c-

"But I never forget any important events and we being restricted gives me the right reason to be mad yuta. It's 9p.m and she didn't even care enough to throw a message at me. She can't be that busy."

Even the choreographer didn't scold them for the loudness. When Johnny's happy, he's the light in the room and when Johnny's whining, he takes down everyone with him. Such was the case right now.

"She has her responsibilities johnny. She's a teacher. Maybe she forgot while checking papers or something. Don't stretch this too much. You all are giving me a headache!" Taeil reprimanded, tiredly.

"So no one cares about how I feel? Seriously? Fine. We have another practice at 6 so I'll just sleep here i guess. Fuck you all."

Back facing the mirror, he slumped down. Silence hung in the air and no one dared to open their mouths. Johnny, despite being the rational one, couldn't rub the displeasure off his face. He felt heartbroken and ignored, feelings that might not matter after a few days but they had already sunk in enough for the moment to last a day or two.

All the boys exchanged knowing looks, mutely involving the choreographer as well. A mere nod from him was all it needed for yuta to drag a sulky johnny towards the door.

"What the fuck are you doing yuta. Mark you too!" Johnny narrowed his eyes, which they couldn't even see.

"Fuck off bitch. Go home because dorms are closed for you. If I received a single worried call from y/n, you would be dead! Take this phone and keys and run off." Shoving his stuff in his pajama pockets, yuta closed the door after him.

Johnny mumbled curses at him for being so callous but the partition didn't pass his words.

Cheerful shouts were the last thing he heard before he trudged for the main door.

*****

"Let's pray he reaches on time or y/n would chop me into small pieces." Yuta whined, returning to his position for the practice.

*****

He had denied and refused but the truth was that he felt hurt and despite being sad, he didn't want to end the day without seeing your face. The conflict was really painful and that's why he was carelessly removing his shoes at the threshold of the house, hoping he'd leave the dejection behind with the shoes.

What he didn't expect on entering was the blended aroma of the foods that he couldn't really point to. There was chicken, maybe chilli soup too? Or it could b-

"Happy birthday johnny suh."

A Giggle reverberated in the dim lit hallway as you wished him. With a small cake set on your palms, you looked at him with a gleam in the eye and with a smile outshining the colourful assortment of candles on the cake. He manually let out a chuckle but composed himself immediately after he realised that you must have been told by the boys.

"Blow the candles, birthday boy." You chirped.

He stared at the cake for a while, indecisive as to whether he should confront you or just forgive you without any question asked. He did both.

Blowing the candles, he glared at you and walked away, not before snatching the cake from your hands.

"Woah woah. That way dory!" You instructed, taking him by his arm. He was perplexed. Since when did you get so fast?

"I'm not hungry." He lied.

The food decorating the dining table was mouth watering, the taste in your hands was something he would've loved to die for. But he wanted to control himself, from snapping at your nonchalance and the temptation of lunging at the meal.

Before he could've turned away, you began lightening the scented candles on the table and his eyes finally took notice of your body. You were wearing nothing special, no makeup either. Johnny's simple black shirt swallowed your figure while your loose hair waved with your movements. It was indeed his favourite look on you.

"Come sit." You said.

"Who reminded you." His voice was surprisingly calmer than he had intended it to be.

"Who reminded me what?"

He closed his eyes for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he spoke again.

"Yo-you forget my birthday y/n."

"Who told you that?" Arms crossed, you challenged his words.

"You didn't call me the whole day." With defeat laced voice, he placed the cake back on the table. Watching you approach him, he took a conscious step back.

"You didn't even wish me in the morning," he whipped his head on the right to avoid you.

A hearty chuckle tore his gaze away from the wall and back to your face.

"You got up at 4:30 a.m Johnny. I didn't wish because that's how a surprise is supposed to work. I took a half day leave so i could prepare dinner for you. You are so busy these d-

Your rambling was cut off as you were sharply pulled by him.

"I thought you really forgot about me." Hugging you tighter, he spoke with a heavy throat.

"Aww you are such a baby John."

He kept swaying you for a few more moments and muttered multiple apologies. You basked in the warmth that he provided, happily, until you couldn't take it anymore.

"If you don't leave me right away, I'm going to cancel your midnight birthday gift John Suh."

I'll be johnnying until 14 feb! Happy johnnying everyone

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct angst #nct drabbles #nct 127 #nct x reader #nct smut #nct soft hours #nct johnny #Johnny scenarios #johnny imagines #Johnny fluff #Johnny x reader #johnny smut #nct timestamps #nct reactions

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inkabelledesigns · 3 years ago

Text

You know, a few hours ago I typed up a lengthy post about my feelings about Bendy: The Lost Ones now that I was halfway through the book. I’m really loving it so far! Well, I should’ve waited until I was actually halfway to say anything. I was like what, around 120 pages? No, 150 or so pages is truly halfway, I’m now at page 199 of the physical version, and excuse me while I scream about it. Warning, spoilers under the cut. I’m gonna ramble, I’m gonna ramble a LOT.

I have never felt such a strong urge to scream before. And I don’t mean like, geek out scream, I mean like physically scream, like scream in terror. My heart is pounding, my gut has sunken, I feel physically sick, I am genuinely HORRIFIED by what I just read. This whole book has been so chill up to this point, it’s been cute, almost slice-of-life. These people lived normal lives with normal problems, they’re sweet, I like them. I want to see them succeed and achieve their goals. I almost forgot I was reading a novel that’s set in the same world as a horror game. But the middle of this book SURE DID REMIND ME?! We FINALLY got to the part where the ink makes an appearance, and it is LEGITIMATELY HORRIFYING! I have so many thoughts and theories running through my head, but what I can’t believe right now is that they FUCKING KILLED BRANT?! ADRIENNE KRESS EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK?! I have never felt such a NEED to scream expletives, but I am in shock, I can’t believe that happened, I am crying, there are real tears pouring from my eyes. I am having a visceral physical reaction unlike any other I’ve had in this franchise. When Buddy died in DCTL, I covered my mouth in shock and put the book down. It hit me but it didn’t phase me too badly. When Sammy and Alice die in BATIM, I was surprised, but it didn’t break me. When we first met the lost ones in chapter 4, I covered my mouth and sat there in shock, whispering “I’m sorry” over and over because I felt something terrible had happened to them. That was anxiety, but THIS, this what I’m feeling right now? This is HORROR, this is TERROR, this is a demon that haunts you. I feel HAUNTED by this book. I was expecting a DCTL clone, and I was SORELY mistaken. I should’ve changed my expectations after that masterful Wally Franks intro, with those brilliant Thomas Connor breaks. They KNEW what they were doing, the team came to play and they play HARD. I’m so glad this book wasn’t spoiled for me, for as shaky and as tearful as I am right now, I’m glad I didn’t see it coming. I feel so...alive. I thought I knew the ink, I thought I knew the demon, but it’s very clear that I don’t. For if I did, I would not be in awe of its power.

Just my god, Brant, Brant my beloved, you big dunderhead, you absolute buffoon, you’re really gone...I’ve only known you for a day, I’ve only seen small snippets of you, but you made me laugh. You made me smile, you were so desperate to achieve your goals, I wanted to see you achieve them. I was rooting for you to make it as a journalist, even though I suspected you wouldn’t. And then you just...died. Just...turned to ink and popped like a bubble when something heavy landed on you. And they tried to get you out, Constance grew a backbone because your life called for it. Bill froze, I would’ve frozen too in that moment. I mean you did fuck around and find out, but like...did you deserve that? I don’t think so. And it’s not just me that’s haunted by it, you have Bill and Constance haunted too, and they’re not okay. God they aren’t okay, I wish I could hold them, help them, turn back the clock and save you. But I can’t, not unless I pick up my own pen.

Though...I may not have to. This books switches narrators every few chapters. My curiosity was too much, I NEEDED to know if Brant was a narrator again, and he is, his name appears on a few more chapters, he’s still around somehow! I need to keep going, I need to know what happens, but it’s 1:30 in the morning and I need to try and sleep. I only kept reading to 199 so I could find a little peace. Constance breaking it off with Andrew was okay, but I’m not at peace, I’m still trembling. But it’s enough. I knew if I kept going before, Buddy wouldn’t be okay, but it would be over, there would be rest, there would be something I could use to solve the puzzles, find a solution, make it better. Here, I don’t know if it’ll be the same. I know where this book is going, all three of you get claimed by the ink, there’s no other way it could end. Yet, here I am wishing it could. I barely know you and I FEEL for you. I didn’t expect to get attached, but all of you are so HUMAN, so very human. When that ink touched your face, when you investigated the machine, I knew where it was going, I knew it would be a disaster, and I couldn’t stop you, couldn’t warn you, couldn’t save you. It all turned to crap so fast in just one moment. I wanted to look away, but much like with a car crash you can’t. Everyone wants to look, to see it with their own eyes.

Perhaps I picked the wrong book for Nightmares are Reality as an isekai fic. Maybe I should’ve put my protagonist in here. There is time for that later though. For now...for now I need to try and rest. I need to make an attempt at sleep. We’re closer to understanding how the ink works, this may be the book that gives us a clear shot at it. I’m hopeful. I can’t wait to read the rest, I can’t wait to work with every precious word of it for my theories and lore building. I’ve seen so many moments that I can’t wait for people to read with their own eyes, specific people came to mind for all of them. Favorite characters, literary references, it’s all so good. I’m so glad I picked this book up, I love it.

I’ve never been so happy to be scared before.

#bendy tlo #bendy tlo spoilers #bendy: the lost ones #bendy: tlo #tlo #the lost ones #bendy the lost ones #bendy the lost ones spoilers #visceral reaction #I sound like Sammy Lawrence raving about Bendy here #I promise my sanity is in tact #I'm just REALLY emotional about this book #it's SO GOOD so far and you should read it!

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salemorbit · 4 years ago

Text

Tossing and Turning

[MHA Headcanons]

[Multiple x genderneutral!Reader]

warnings: insomnia, anxious thoughts

~~~~~~~

the boyyyyysssss when you can't fall asleep for a myriad of reasons so you go ahead and bother them in the middle of the night hehe

~~~~~~~

Midoriya

This boy either goes to sleep at 8:30 pm or 4:30 am there is no in between

It really depends on schoolwork or his training tbh

So when you can't sleep, it's either he's long into his REM cycle or you're just about to catch him heading to bed

Usually when you can't fall asleep, you're worried about your own schoolwork or an upcoming test

Midoriya will always welcome you into his room with open arms, even if he's half asleep while doing so

He'll let you talk out what's on your mind as you climb into bed with him, his arms instinctively going around your waist as you settle in

Midoriya will usually nod or hum along as you ramble, allowing your thoughts to roam while you tire yourself out

When you're done, he'll offer his best piece of advice despite it being early EARLY in the morning, and you'll just decide to sleep on it

He usually falls asleep easier around you anyway, and you, having gotten all those anxious thoughts out of your head, zonk out pretty easily as well

•••

Todoroki

Todoroki has a decently regular bedtime, so if you go to wake him up in the middle of the night he will be in full Sleepy Shotou mode

You really try not to bother him too much when he sleeps, but if you get a particularly bad nightmare then you really have no choice but to knock on his door and ask to come in

Todoroki will make sure you're alright, first and foremost, and then offer up his already warm spot to you if you'd like

His eyes are half-open while doing this LMAO, but he's still aware of you and what you need

He'll tangle your legs together and let you nestle in as closely as you want

If you want to talk about the dream, he'll listen and play with the back of your hair while you talk into his chest

If you don't want to talk about the dream, you'll just lay there while he hums soft lullabies and you eventually fall into a protected sleep

•••

Bakugou

We all know Bakugou passes out at 8 pm at the latest

So, yes, he'll be kinda pissed if you wake him up in the middle of the night

But right as he sees your upset face, not having been able to fall asleep because of a noisy mind, Bakugou will drag you into his room and then his arms

You won't really say anything for a while as he gets the two of you comfortable, but soon he'll ask you about what was up

You try your best to piece together insecurities and random thoughts that pop up, but they exhaust you even though you can't sleep from them

Bakugou knows you struggle with this, so he tries his best to get you to focus on one thing and shelve away all the other unnecessary thoughts that come up

You two work on rhythmic breathing that calms you down and gets your mind ready for bed

He may seem brash in the daytime, but I'm pretty sure Bakugou would pull through for someone he really cares about

•••

Shinsou

No Sleep For Shinsou

He gets not being able to fall asleep, whether it be insecurities or overthinking or just not wanting to bother altogether

He totally gets it

And thus he's tried almost every remedy under the sun to bring that melatonin into his brain

When you can't sleep, Shinsou will bring out this library of knowledge and go through anything you haven't tried before

He's a whiz at making great tea, so usually Shinsou will have a cup ready by the time you step in the door

If you're not big on tea, he knows some good meditation exercises that have even helped him fall asleep

You find comfort being around other people, even when you aren't talking, so while Shinsou works on hero work at his desk, you curl up into his bed and try his remedies until you fall asleep

He'll also always cover you with a blanket, if you hadn't already done so, and shut off the main lights so you won't be disturbed by his studying

•••

Kaminari

Also another night owl, I think

Kaminari stays up doing god knows what nearly every night, so if you can't sleep and come to find him at an ungodly hour, he's not fazed in the slightest

You two will mostly stay up and talk about random topics or make comfortable pillow forts

Kaminari strives to put your mind at ease with things that aren't that serious, so he likes to get playful and let you run that extra energy out of your system before you hit the sack

If something's on your mind, he'll let you write the issue down on a piece of paper and throw some darts at it as hard as you want so you can get that anger out

If you just need comfort, he's there with pillows and blankets to make sure you're as comfortable as you can be

He's also a great listener for someone who has a lot of energy, so if you need to talk about anything he's all ears

When you finally settle down, Kaminari will try his best to settle down himself as you two turn in for the night and roll into bed

•••

Kirishima

Probably a mix of Bakugou and Kaminari, where Kirishima is a good source of energy but has a regular bedtime of like 8 or 9 pm

When you find yourself overthinking things again, you'll usually make a beeline for Kirishima's room and let yourself in

He knows it's you and doesn't sweat it when he feels someone else press down the mattress and climb in beside him

He's also kind of a light sleeper, so he'll awaken slightly when you come in

Kirishima will make sure you feel secure and hold your hands comfortingly if you need to

He's not the greatest with advice or anything like that, but he'll definitely be an ear for you if you feel like talking and he'll be more of a physical presence than a verbal one

And he's good at it too, so you'll feel instantly better just by being in Kirishima's space and being close to him

He'll have nodded off long after you joined him under the covers, but his hold on you barely lessens as you finally fall asleep too

~~~~~~~~

inspired by the fact that i literally can't fall asleep recently so umm maybe this is self insert LMAO

requests are welcome!!

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